Sunday, January 15, 2023

Not So Easy

 


I've been struggling a lot lately.

I'm not sure if it has something to do with aging.  Those of you in your 50s and up will be able to relate.

It feels like your inside is constantly in a state of change.  Your moods change daily (or maybe hourly - no joke); your outlook on life changes daily.  You are still you, but inside things are just different.

Your mind races.  What do I need to accomplish today?  I don't feel like doing anything today.  I should have parented better.  I should have taken a different education path.  I should have more desire to reach my goals.  I hate my goals.

On and on it goes.

Some days, it feels like there's no end and you are just on a wheel that gets spun and you get whatever feeling or thought process is the flavor of the day.

I'm sitting at my bedroom desk this morning.  Sunday.  Late.  It's 8:30, almost 4 hours past my normal wake up and go time.  We are finally having sunny skies in Georgia, and the rays are trying to seep in through the slats on the window and hit my desk, my laptop, and the side of my face.

I have mixed emotions about sunshine.  I love the sunrise.  Watch it each morning when I drive to work.  But sunshine also has the deceptive quality of illuminating all the dust and dirt you either missed when you cleaned two days ago or that is already resettling on all your items and surfaces.

I guess my emotion wheel got spun this morning and landed on feeling pretty good.  My To List is long today since my wheel landed on depression and lethargy yesterday.  Basement needs to be cleaned and the last bit of Christmas down there needs to be put away.  The tomatoes need cooking.  The beef stew needs preparing and cooking.  Should I go to the gym?  Maybe I'll just take Tank to the park since it's been a good while.  I need to read.  I need to study.  I need to list items in my e-store.

This morning, David is home.  He arrived last night with Krispy Kreme donuts.  Tank absolutely adores David and loves when he was here.  Last night, we had hot donuts and watched the newest Jurassic Park movie (which I thought was good, despite the bad reviews).  This morning, we'll make breakfast in a bit, watch church online, and I'm feeling like watching The Chosen.  Maybe it will be a good and full productive day.

But still.  I am sitting here I sit with my coffee and fruit...reading a devotional on Craving.  I will tell you I am overweight, but I don't feel like I need a Bible Study on how to eat or workout or cravings.  I just picked this devotional because I had no idea what else to study, and right now, I am studying nutrition so it seemed to fit.

And then God showed up.  Sometimes, I "hate" when He does that.  Read along with me:

"Overweight Physically and Underweight Spiritually 

My journey to healthy eating didn’t gain traction by counting calories or obeying rules of the food pyramid. The process began in earnest when I admitted that, yes, I was overweight physically. But, more importantly, I was underweight spiritually. I was spiritually malnourished. Tying these two issues together is what opened my eyes to see God in a whole new way. 

I’m reminded of the story in the Bible where a rich young man comes to see Jesus. The young man explains that he is following all the religious rules, but still feels something is missing from his pursuit of God. He asks, “What do I still lack?” Jesus answers, “If you want to be perfect [whole], go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me” (Matthew 19:20 – 21 NIV). 

The rich young man then goes away sad because he won’t give up the one thing that consumes him. He is so full with his riches he can’t see how undernourished his soul is. It’s at this point in the biblical story that most of us start to look at all the rich people we know and think, “Well, I sure hope they get this message. Good thing I’m not rich. Good thing Jesus doesn’t ask me to sacrifice in this way.” Or does He? 

Jesus meant His comment for any of us who wallow in whatever abundance we have. I imagine Jesus looked straight into this young man’s soul and said, “I want you to give up the one thing that you crave more than Me.” 

For me, I was like the rich young man when it came to eating. I refused healthier breakfast options, such as egg whites and fruit, while filling myself with candy-sprinkled doughnuts. I choose soda instead of water, chips instead of carrot sticks. Even when my sugar high crashed and I complained of splitting headaches, sluggishness, and unwanted extra weight, I steadfastly refused to even consider giving up my daily brownie. 

God made us capable of craving so that we’d have an unquenchable desire for more of Him, and Him alone. Nothing changes until we make the choice to redirect our misguided cravings to the only One capable of satisfying them

Paul wrote to Christians, “I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better” (Ephesians 1:17 NIV). 

I don’t know about you, but to me this one benefit of knowing God better is worth all the effort and sacrifice that a healthy eating journey requires. It’s easy to feel that our struggle with food is such an unfair deal. But I encourage you to see the process today as a path that offers both physical and spiritual benefits."

Well, there it was.  Everything in bold is what hit me this morning.

I am writing this on a Sunday morning, as I said above.  It's past 8:30.  Our local church services are at 9:30 and 11.  In order for me to make it, I'd have to just go now (like I am) or I have one hour of "free time" left before having to go shower and get ready.

...but me.

Ouch.

Most of you know, I love being at home.  I love the cold and winter time.  I love being inside with the people I love and my furry family members.  I love movies and tv and I love working.  Being home is always a win for me.  

As I've aged, it's gotten harder and harder to get me to actually go anywhere.  I love all my people, but if I had to chose, I'd probably stay home and work on something.

...but God.

Ouch.

"If you want to be perfect [whole], go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me”  😕

"Jesus meant His comment for any of us who wallow in whatever abundance we have. I imagine Jesus looked straight into this young man’s soul and said, I want you to give up the one thing that you crave more than Me.”  😕

The one thing I crave more than Jesus on a quiet, Sunday morning is staying at home.  No having to rush and get ready to be somewhere.  Just time to think and relax and check things off my list.

...but God.

"Nothing changes until we make the choice to redirect our misguided cravings to the only One capable of satisfying them."

"Paul wrote to Christians, 'I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better.'" (Ephesians 1:17 NIV). 

I don’t know about you, but to me this one benefit of knowing God better is worth all the effort and sacrifice."

Did you catch that?

I have read the Bible a very long time.  I have taken seminary classes.  I have studied under astute men.

But I never "got" that.

Paul said, "I keep asking that...may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know Him better."

"...this ONE BENEFIT of knowing God better [having the Spirit of wisdom and revelation] is worth all the effort and sacrifice."

Wow.

When I put that entire equation together, I get this:




Again - "Nothing changes until we make the choice to redirect our misguided cravings to the only One capable of satisfying them."

So, I opened up the Word today to read a devotion on food cravings because it coincided with something I was studying, and still God turned it around, used it,  and showed me my own cravings could be misguided and might need redirecting to the One capable of satisfying them.

I guess this is my cue that I need to rethink my schedule for today and tweak it to include HIM.  Suddenly my day is changed.

God is like that.  He'll sneak right into your plans, what you had on your plate, and what you thought was your life.  And suddenly, before you know it, He is there changing everything.

We serve an all-knowing, all-powerful, and all-Mighty God.  Never forget He is always listening, always available, and always working!

I hope your Sunday is bright and beautiful.  That our day of sunshine gives everyone the energy they need and the desire to go and do the things that need doing.  I'll leave you with this:




No comments:

Post a Comment