I love (and I look forward to) reading the Proverbs 31 daily devotional each day. It always seems to speak to me right where I am, and I hope it does to you as well.
Today's devotion was on being alone with no one but God to stick by your side. If you have read my last few devotionals, you know I am definitely feeling alone these last two weeks.
Last night was no exception. It's always hard knowing your loved one is doing something apart from you, in a world you don't approve of, with people other than your established circle.
I'm still not a place where I accept the discovered behavior or know if I ever will. I'm finding myself backing up a bit. I thought I was at a place where I could make a place for this new discovery and possibly accept it...and then I dug into the behavior a little more and realized it was toxic - and I'm not sure it can ever not be a toxic environment.
I witnessed my loved one using the Lord's name fluidly in vain as a cuss word; I witnessed some other cussing I wasn't completely comfortable with - and hear me out - I cuss like a sailor. Am I proud of that fact? NOT AT ALL - but I do try my very best not to use Jesus' name as a cuss word or couple our Lord's name with a cuss word. Those are two definite words I do try and steer clear of.
To see my loved one using it so fluently made me a little sad, and it also highlighted the fact that if I allow this activity in my home, that environment - those attitudes - and those strangers enter my home as well. My home isn't perfect, but at least it is my sanctuary and I can control most of the variables and things that enter.
Facing things and valleys alone is where God shines.
As today's devotion says, "...only God can go to those dark places and dungeons and be strength for His children. Because without God’s power, no one can tolerate such darkness."
"Through all our sufferings, Christ never leaves us. His promise is true. It was true for the people Jesus talked to when He was on earth, and it’s true for us today. Even when no one is beside you, know that God is. He will never forsake you. That’s why Psalm 23 means so much to me."
“The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures … Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me …” (Psalm 23:1-2, 4).
I'm not walking through the valley death and maybe you aren't either - but we can know this one thing - God is always with us. Even when we don't have the answers or know what step we should take next, Jesus is with us - and for me that is the foundation I need.
I will keep praying about what I should do. How I should react to my loved one. Try to figure out what they need from me, and what I need from them.
In the end Jesus will provide the way and the path. That's what I am counting on! If you are struggling with the loneliness of addiction or the loneliness of having a loved one embroiled in addiction, jump in and be consumed by Psalm 23. It will be the blanket and comfort you soul is craving.
Jesus has not deserted us. He is walking beside us. We just need to be aware and cognizant of Him. Sit still a minute. Pray. Listen. Let's get through this battle leaning in and on each other.
Happy Wednesday my friends. May you read Psalm 23 today and receive the answers you are looking for!
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