Were You Let Down?

 

Good morning my friends, and Happy Valentine's Day.

I am sitting at my kitchen counter this morning, with my little pink and gold mug full of hot coffee, trying to stay warm and positive.

Yep, you read that right - positive.

I don't know about you, but I'm getting tired of trying to make it work - okay, make everything work, all the time.

The County taxes went up.  My homeowner's insurance went up.  My mortgage payment increased $200.  The basement pump is broken.  The fence is falling down, and my yard now looks like Sanford and Son's backyard. 

It just keeps piling on and on and on.  I'm exhausted.  I'm not sleeping through the night.  I just wonder, "God, when does the hamster wheel end and I get some peace?  When do I get to stop spending money on life and start spending it on others?"

And, a lot of times - our own personal woes with money, work, and staying afloat bleed into our own self-pity of being disappointed with others.

I can personally count on one hand - and probably two if I thought about it long and hard enough - the women around me who have been disappointed in the men in their lives.  Affairs, mental health issues, abandonment, and marriage & family commitment issues are just a few of the hurdles these women have faced.

It's not surprising our stress levels are high, that we are developing emotional scars, and that we are losing trust in other humans. 

I, too, struggle with trust issues.  Our past paths in life create scars in our hearts that blur our outlook on both our current and future paths.  All the women I am thinking about this morning are strong Christians, who have profound faith in God.  Yet, we all still struggle with being disappointed with someone in our lives.

As I sat here this morning, after another night of restless sleep and worry, I opened my laptop to see what God had for me.  I read this.  It really hit home and opened my mind to the reminder that I am not alone at being disappointed in people.  We all struggle with this one thing.

The key to remember - I believe - is to not let the devil see it and capitalize on it.  He relishes in our failures.  He delights in diverting us off God's path.  So, to my girls this morning - I see you.  I believe this devotion was for you.

I hope it touches you and reminds you - like it did me - that we must grieve; we must show God our tears and/or our anger; and we must accept that people fail, but God never will!

I see you.  I love you.  Embrace today - Valentine's Day - remembering that the greatest Valentine of all was Jesus and the gift of LOVE he gave us on that bitter, bitter Friday afternoon.  That give of LOVE redeemed us all.  YOU ARE WORTHY and not forgotten! 

When People Let You Down

Disappointment feels like a heavy rock sinking to the bottom of my spirit—especially when others disappoint or deceive me. Often I ignore my disappointment, shut it in a box and hope the lid holds. Sometimes I gloss it over with a quick, “People will let you down, but God never will.” True, but does this really help me process the hurt?

One morning, I poured out my sadness, anger and disappointment to God about a close relationship. As the tears slipped down my face, I begged for an answer: What do I do with this? Show me. I’ll do it because what I’ve been doing is not working.

In my spirit, Jesus said, “Grieve.”

Really? I questioned. I remembered that Jesus knew disappointment—Peter’s denial, Judas’s betrayal and the disciples falling asleep during his anguish before his crucifixion (see Matthew 26). Jesus understood my pain.

So I cried, feeling every ounce of the disappointment. I told God all the things I wished were different, all the things I thought this person had done wrong, and what I wished this person would change.

After the winds of grief subsided, I was done. Grieving was the bridge I had to cross to move beyond the disappointment. On the other side, I could embrace the relationship for what it was, not what it wasn’t.

Only after we’ve allowed ourselves to grieve will we know how to respond in the way God wants. We may need to talk to the person who disappointed us or get godly counsel. We may need healthy boundaries or to just let it go.

Once we’ve completed those steps, the words “People will let you down, but God never will” will be comforting, not empty.

By Melanie Chitwood

2 Corinthians 1

3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 5For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. 

From Darkness to Light

 

Don't you love these kind of moments?

I woke up this morning thinking about a friend of mine, maybe even two of them. How they took me from a place of sadness, held my hand, and helped me heal. Brought me to this current day, where happiness has returned and MAYBE I'm starting to find and see ME again.

I reflected back on things one of those friends said to me, as I compared and belittled my grief to his, a widow of four years. He encouraged me not to belittle or bury my grief or compare it to others.

He said, "Pain is pain." When I said, "Why am I struggling so much? Why did a broken heart hurt so much? Why did it dismantle me?" He said, "FIVE YEARS. It was FIVE YEARS. Give yourself some grace."

As I sent a Good Morning text to that friend this morning, I reflected back on these moments and what he has grown to mean to me. How our friendship has grown and blossomed. How we talked through our own personal valleys, as well as valleys we experienced together and yet, kept going forward.

My heart warmed as I thought about the journey.

And then I opened my laptop to read this morning's devotional. (Real-Life Devotions by Lysa TerKeurst, if you want to join the plan.) This is what I read.

I pray it blesses you like it did me. I love these moments when God not only shows up, but He says, "I heard you this morning. I have something for you."

Read on:

"Trapped like a firefly in a mason jar. Stifled, I peered out, watching others’ dreams, hopes and joys twinkle and fly by my stagnant ones. My own desires sat dusty in my valley of pain.

Extinguished. Exhausted. Expectant no longer.

“I’m so sorry your dreams are dashed,” my friend offered. “I wish I had known sooner how painful this disappointment has been. It would been an honor to walk it out with you.”

“Thanks. But a broken heart is silly. Especially in light of others’ pain.” Who was I to be sad about a mere breakup?

Silenced by self-doubt. Belittled by unworthiness. I diminished my pain, fearing it insignificant. In the process I belittled God’s care about my pain. Healing had been offered, yet I walked away, thinking it not worth his trouble.

My friend took my hand, and we journeyed back to when she had lost two children. Someone then had told her to check her pain at the door. Keep it in perspective to others’ pain.

We journeyed back to another time when pain was acknowledged, not tucked in a dark corner. Then she turned to the Lord, who administered healing from the grief of empty arms and empty cribs.

My friend took my hand again and we journeyed forward. “Don’t belittle your grief. Your pain is genuine. This valley is real. You must acknowledge the Lord is near and accept his help to get out.”

My friend granted me permission to feel my ache and loss. Drastically different than her own, yet no less honest. In that moment I realized I’d held my pain at a distance. Yet truth resonated in her words. No one loves us or offers healing like God does.

Perhaps it is time to acknowledge the pain, like Job did in Job 7:11. To become aware of the Lord’s care—an “always there” presence. No matter what other voices have said, your pain is valid. God cares deeply and longs to heal you. No pain is too great … or too small. Often we just need someone to remind us that God longs to remove the lid on our mason jar and fly next to us, out of the valley.

By Samantha Reed"

So, you see.  God is listening.  He does hear us.

Friend, don't belittle your valleys and your hurt.  Don't compare it to others. Let God heal you.

As the saying goes, "Comparison is the thief of joy." Friend, don't let the devil win.

Go ahead.  Open your mason jar.  Let your firefly out and let the healing begin.

I love you, and so does God.

2 Corinthians 1

3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 5For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.

Eight Months - Now What?

 

Yesterday marked eight months since my life took a sudden, unforeseen detour.

I could not have imagined what happened, happened.  But it did.  And here I am today.

As life changed and I began to adjust to my new normal, God began to work.

He began to work through my darkest days; He began to work through the lighter days; He began to heal.  He began to open new work opportunities at my church.  He introduced me to new people I can't imagine not interacting with these days.  He brought new interests into my life.

To say God is (only) good would be a huge understatement.

I wondered what eight months would look like.  It's not what I imagined.

Right now, I am working a summer schedule at work - 4, 10-hour days each week.  It is a little tiring at best.  Combined with my Tuesday and Wednesday night schedules, it becomes exhausting.

Last night was rough.  As I continue to traverse through these first 12 months, full of new beginnings and traditions, I continue to struggle.  I know it's a healthy journey.  My Counselor has reaffirmed my mental and emotional health over and over again. But yet - each new event I must work through puts me through the ringer.

Just this weekend, we had our family's annual Memorial Day gathering at the lake.  It's always a larger gathering for all family and friends before the smaller gatherings continue to occur the rest of the season.  I brought a friend, but it was hard thinking back to the Memorial Day and summer season of the year before.  Personalities were different.  Energy levels were different.  It was just different.

And yet, I knew I had to traverse through it.  One more milestone in this 12-month journey into a new life and new beginnings.

I laid in bed last night praying.  Asking God to remove the very last vestiges of David from my heart, my soul.  The anchor (as I described it to one of my best friends over dinner last week) that binds me to him.

I am tired of remembering the intimate bond we shared.  You know the kind.  Those bonds you obtain only after years together with someone.  I want to, instead, remember the times he belittled me at the end - said he was so much happier without me; the time he said I was a mean and terrible person; the time he left me crying and crumbled in a heap beside my car in an empty after-church parking lot.

I want to remember that David is the Adult Child of an Alcoholic ("ACOA").  That he was sick the entire time we were together, bouncing back and forth between my house to his Mother's home.  I want to remember that he couldn't move out of the basement.  That he, in the end, choose to leave our family vacation to head back to Dahlonega for family night ("It was family night; what was I supposed to do?" he screamed at me in the church parking lot.) I want to remember, as my Counselor says, "The relationship was never healthy.  He was always unable to choose you and living an independent life apart from his Parents. There is no way you could have saved or changed him.  Until God reveals his sickness to him and he seeks true help, he will continue on as he is living.  You must release him and your thinking that you could have helped him."

God granted me the peace I sought last night, as my exhausted inner self lied down to sleep.  I woke up this morning praying this short prayer, "God, thank you for your sweet peace last night. Thank you for new life entering my world, but please continue to work through my mind and heart, not only erasing - but removing all memories and feelings for David."  I need the memories, feelings, and anchor removed from me.  I am tired of carrying empathy for David and hurt from him as well.  Both enjoined together, keeping a small part of me captive.

As I opened my devotion at work today, I thought, "God, I need to get back to you.  Nothing is speaking to me anymore.  Where are all the healing moments and words you gave me before at the beginning of this journey?  Speak to me once again and help me continue healing and removing this thorn from my side."

I started reading these words from Francine Rivers:

"The wounds in our past can affect us long after we’ve been rescued from that past. When we have been hurt by other people, we might see relationships as only potential pain. We lean away from the people who reach out to us, careful not to give them any ammunition with which to wound us more. We begin to think of isolation and independence as ideal.

But this is not what God considers best for us. As messy and painful as relationships can be, they also bring us life.

We’re created to care for others and be cared for by them. From the very beginning, God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone.' (Genesis 2:18). He knew that life on this earth would be tough, and we would need others to help us share the load. Romans 12:15 tells us to 'rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.' When others enter into our sorrow, their compassion makes us feel less alone. When others celebrate with us, our joy expands. And when we care enough to share others’ joys and sorrows, our love for them grows and our hearts change. 

Ecclesiastes 4:12 is a reminder that God’s presence is what ultimately makes our relationships work. His presence strengthens our relationships, deepens them, and helps them last. First John 4:12 says, 'If we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us.' As we love others, He makes us more like Himself.

Isn't it just like our amazing God to answer a prayer right in the moment we pray and ask for it?

"The wounds in our past can affect us long after we've been rescued from that past. As messy and painful as relationships can be, they also bring us life."

I see you God; I hear you.

My wounds from David's actions, decisions, and words still affect me, even after you rescued me.  And I need to remember that even though my time with David was messy and painful, not all relationships will be that way.  You give us new and long-lasting relationships to bring us life as well.

Thank you Lord for the peace you granted me as I slept last night and the words you so lovingly supplied this morning.  I stand humbled and in awe before you.

As I make my way through this new day, I will remember these words of Scripture and write them upon my heart, "No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us. (1 John 4:12)."

Amen and amen.

Self-Control - Finding Out You Can Possess this Fruit of the Spirit

 

"Father, the power of the Spirit that is in me, which is greater than the spirit that is in this world, I ask that You would daily pour Your power, love, and peace into my life so I may walk in self-control, courage, and with a sound mind. When my thoughts race and my mind defaults to a spirit of fear, may Your perfect love cast out fear so I may stand firm and unwavering and live with conviction in a world of compromise. Amen."

My weekend started out well.

My journey had been getting better each day.  Each day has its own challenges, and every day, it is still a challenge to remove David from my thoughts, placing those memories at the feet of Jesus and asking Him to remove them from my mind along with breaking the chains that keep me attached to them and the family I once built with David.

My Christian Counselor has been simply amazing, my family has been incredible, and above all - the Lord filled my February calendar (the traditional month of love and a month I had so much fear circling around me about) with so much love, I could hardly keep up.

I remember lying down to sleep one week night and hearing the Lord quietly whisper to me, "You may not have anyone for Valentine's Day, but I am filling your entire month with love."  I saw a picture of a calendar in my mind for the month of February, and I could see all the dates and events He had already etched into place.  I felt His peace surround me, and I may have even quietly weeped before falling asleep.

The presence of God is so good.

The last and ninth Fruit of the Spirit is self-control.  We read about it in 2 Tim. 1:7.

As I headed into the weekend a few days ago, two of my facebook pages received an Admin invite from David's gaming page to join the private group associated with that page.  I teetered back and forth mentally with the invites and then accepted both.

It left me confused.  Why would David send me an invite to join a private group of his?  If you have been keeping up with my writings, you know I was completely destroyed by David's leaving five months ago.

The invites seemed odd to me, but I tried not to give them any more thought.

Then came Saturday afternoon.  I wasn't feeling well, so I decided to lay down for a bit and find a movie to watch. I settled on Apple Film's, "Napoleon."

As I watched the relationship develop and grow between Napoleon and Josephine, my mind reflected back onto my relationship with David.

The five years I spent with David were the happiest (inside a relationship, that is) and also the most emotionally intimate years of my adult life.

But as I laid there watching the movie and thinking back over my relationship with David and the two invites that had come the day before, the Lord kept laying on my heart a few of David's last spoken words to me one Sunday afternoon in - of all places - our church parking lot.  Words that shattered me as he spoke:

"I am so much happier without you in my life now."

"You are not a nice person.  You just aren't!"

"I will never forgive you." (After I apologized for what hurt him and then asked him to forgive me.)

"My family is pissed off at you!" (After I asked if could sit down with his parents and sister to talk through any feelings they might have.)

"I don't believe what God gave us was a gift."

I instantly knew accepting those two invitations to David's Facebook page's private group had been a wrong decision.

Now, God was pressing on my thoughts and heart trying to remind me how cruel David had been that day, how unforgiving, and how unmoving.

So, listening to the pressings on my heart, I removed both of my facebook pages from David's private group.

But - and here is where I messed up, veering out on my own, past where God had led - I didn't want David to see the accepted invites and then see me exiting his private group the next day.  I didn't want to be accused of playing games.

So I sent a brief email to David, explaining why I had left the group.  I explained my hurt and how shattered I had been by his last words to me and that I only wished God's best for him in the future.

I never expected a response.

He had never responded to anything sent before, so why should this be any different?

I prayed, "God, I do not need a response, so please do not let one come."  But I also prayed that my words would have effect on David's heart, that it might finally become softened and pliable, growing tender and sensitive toward the Holy Spirit.

That he might finally understand the power of words and that accepting as well as granting forgiveness is something God wants for us.  It frees us from the pain we carry. We do it for ourselves, not the other party or anyone else.

Late Saturday night, while out with friends, a response arrived in my Inbox.  Inside his short e-mail, David mentioned having health issues.

My family and friends told me not to reply, but inside, I really wanted to extend God's love and the power of prayer over David.

I struggled through the night, crafting out words carefully that a reply could contain - but with no pressing from God, I knew I'd be on my own, and that was a place I did not want to be. I continued to pray as I tossed and turned all night.

Finally, when morning broke, I started the coffee and grabbed my books.  Sitting at the kitchen counter, I opened up my first devotional.  It read:

“For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”—2 Timothy 1:7 

And there it was.

Good morning Holy Spirit.  Thank you for reminding me and confirming to me I made the right choice - to exercise self-control.

Like a ton of bricks, this lesson on the ninth Fruit of the Spirit - self-control hit home hard: "God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control."

Praise God, I had exercised power and love and, most importantly, self-control the night before. 💜 What a gift and sigh of relief to receive this confirmation through Scripture the next morning.

And how fitting that God would save today to begin my lessons on self-control.  So like Jesus!

Remember this - when we have nothing else, we will still always have Jesus. He never leaves our sides.

I am so glad I took the advice of my family and friends.  I am so glad I asked Jesus for help and guidance and then listened for Him to answer me on whether I should send a reply to David's email or not.

God had been silently telling me, "No," all night. All I had to do was listen.

I bowed my head, wept silently through prayers for myself, for David's health, and for my boys.

I asked God to always grant me the ability to exercise self-control when He demands it and to help me produce this last Fruit of the Spirit without an inner fight (not an easy task; I know I will need His help)!  And then, I began writing.

I know this post is long, but it was cathartic for me. I needed to exhale and write down my experience and feelings.

These writings will always be here to remind me what to do when flesh starts to outweigh Spirit.

God is faithful to us always and to where we are at any specific moment in time.

I am thankful He showed up this morning at the precise moment I needed Him. 

Today, I learned I can produce at least one Fruit of the Spirit - self-control!

"Thank you Jesus.  I love you.  Thank you for your sacrifice of love and for my personal gift of salvation.  I pray you will always guide me, especially in matters of the heart where I am still struggling today.

I ask for release from any remaining 'chains' inside my heart tied to David.  My heart hurts still.  The memories linger still.  I miss the presence, the love, and the companionship.  I miss the life we built and the foundation we were building for the future.

I feel like such a failure at times!

His words were extremely cruel at the end, and He became a person I didn't recognize.

I have done as you asked - I have asked both You and him for forgiveness for my part in any hurt I may have given out along the way.

Thank You for forgiving me.

I pray one day You will soften David's heart, and he will let the Holy Spirit inside it to work. And then, he too will learn how to forgive and feel the freedom forgiving grants.

Thank you Jesus for the family and friends surrounding me and for keeping my calendar full when it needs to be and for the quiet, alone times as well so that I may recharge and have time to read, study, and recenter.

Jesus, I pray for my sons.

Please keep an eye on them.  Guard their paths and decisions.

May they always return to You, and may You protect them all the days of their lives.

I am so thankful for their presence in my life, their wisdom and maturity, and their great love.

In Jesus name, Amen."

 

Do Not Be Conformed - Romans 12

Good morning.

Taking a moment to traverse down a different path this Monday.

I received an email today that really hit home with me.  I wanted to share it directly to social media, but it's too long.  So, I'm going to share it here.

I hope it resonates with you as well.  Great points to remember, as we let our thoughts take control of us sometimes, when maybe we shouldn't.

I guess God was trying to nail down this exact point to me earlier and into my finite, small human brain, as I laid in there in bed thinking about current events and past memories. Not only did the email I'm about to share arrive in my Inbox, but Proverbs 31 Ministries - at close to the same time - posted this on their social media channels on the exact same subject:

We cannot afford to ignore, pacify or play with our detrimental thoughts. We are encouraged to destroy them. Leave no trace of evidence that they existed.

In Paul’s letter to the church at Corinth, he used aggressive language to describe how believers in Christ are to deal with our thoughts. The words “demolish” and “captive” in 2 Corinthians 10:5 illustrate the seriousness of the battle raging in our minds.

In moments when we are bullied by our thoughts, we can ask ourselves:

Is this thought supported in God’s Word?

If the thought cannot be backed by Scripture, we can ask a second question:

Is there a Scripture that refutes this thought?

This is a hard practice to adopt consistently, but I am determined to embrace Paul’s admonishment.

We do not have to be victims of our thoughts, powerless to control them. We can combat untrue thoughts with the Word of God, who has also gifted counselors, pastors and trusted friends to come alongside us if we need help along the way. We are equipped to demolish and take captive every lie that stands in opposition to the knowledge of God.

Enough said.

I should know better.  But I'm human and still in the grieving process, so I'll allow myself a little grace over this year.  Note that Paul specifically said we are to demolish and take captive our thoughts, so I'll keep pushing through these valley moments. Because he said to.

Here is a little part of the email I received this morning.  I know there are those of you out there that read my writings, and I know you are grieving and hurting.  I know there are days where there is just no escape from the thoughts of the past or how we will make it to the "future."  What does our future even look like now?  But we are just going to have to hold on and trust in a loving God.

Others may have made the decision to leave us, but God Himself said He never would.  So while your faith in humanity may have escaped you for this moment in time or your trust levels may have dropped to an all-time low, try to pin that very precise thought of GOD saying He would never leave you somewhere in the furthest corners of your mind and then cling to it for dear life.  We are going to make it friends.  I promise.

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect”

(Romans 12:2).

The day may not go the way you want it to, not according to your plan. The plan to do this or do that may not be accomplished. The desire to be measured by standards of this world may not be fulfilled. But daughter, I don’t care about those things. I look to your heart. I care about the rich beauty held there, the depth of feeling and caring beyond yourself and your own desires, which only I can measure.

I have written you. I have created this heart of yours. I have created your mind and I know your personality, your will, the way you think about yourself, how you measure yourself, how you assess whether you rise or fall. And I have not made you to measure yourself. I have not made you to judge your worth. I have not made you to think so much about whether or not you are good or you are bad, you are successful or you have failed.

You are My girl. You are My daughter. You are the created one. You are created to point to Me, give honor to Me, worship Me. And because this is how you are made, this is what will bring you joy. This is the only thing that will end the striving, end the attempt to be a different person than whom I’ve created, so perfectly, so intently. 

Trying to live your life in step with the rhythm of this world rather than the way I have made you will bring exhaustion, ultimately, to your heart. Let it sing and have room to breathe and be fulfilled! My love will fill you; it will fill your heart, if you want it to. So, put your hand upon your heart. Feel the beating rhythm I have created. It is rhythm of Home, of freedom, of rescue, of a life you were designed, by My breath to live.

*Excerpt above courtesy of The Loop - Ministry for Women.

Are You a PeaceKEEPER or a PeaceMAKER?

 

One of the great things about working for a high school is that you get a lot of time off.  The pay isn't the greatest, but the people are amazing in Education and the time off is a bonus you won't get anywhere else.

Today is the first day of our Christmas break.  Unfortunately for me, I forgot to pray last night before I fell asleep that God would keep certain things from my hours of regeneration and peace.

I dreamed about David.  Ugh.

My prayers at this point in my journey are that God removes all traces of memories and love I have for David from me.  I can't carry the burden any longer for something that never truly existed, that "might" return one day in the future, or for a dysfunctional family wrestling with addiction and no real plan for recovery.

I normally pray before I go to sleep that God will not allow the devil to attack my soft spot or allow dreams of David, our past, or even our possible future to enter my mind.  I have to do this for my own sanity as well as to protect my heart and emotions.

It's just not healthy to "pine" for someone that has left you multiple times and by cowardly methods; lives in a state of addiction but does not seek counseling or help; and to keep hoping for a future that may or may not be healthy or ever come into existence.  God wants so much MORE for us as his children, and we need to make Him the focus of our thoughts and actions.

So, imagine my surprise when I began my reading this morning.  I don't even know why I am shocked or surprised anymore.  Even when God is silent, He is listening.  I am going to share what I read this morning in case it might help someone else through a tough period.

These words and thoughts perfectly describe my situation.  David (through his own admission to me) was a Peacekeeper; I am a Peacemaker.  You will see that the Peacekeepers operate from a point of dysfunction and unhealthiness.  They can never truly heal or form healthy relationships; they keep everything inside and absorb things like a sponge that never gets wrung out.

I, on the other hand (and certainly not to ring my own bell) am a Peacemaker.  I have learned, from working with and watching some of the smartest, calmest, and most savvy problem-solving educators the last 11 years, how to make relationships work and keep the peace.  These leaders have taught me so much by their examples.  I don't always succeed, but I at least try.

I will never be at their levels because they are constantly reading and attending classes on these skills, but just watching them create Peace is a blessing to me. I learn from watching their patterns of success.

So, without any more writing from me, here is what I read this morning.  A firm validation that God is in my midst, listening to all my prayers and supplications!

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.” (Matthew 5:9)

This verse is taken from Jesus' famous teaching in Matthew 5 - 7 called, “The Sermon on the Mount.” The sermon addresses how to live a spirit-filled life that pleases the Lord, full of mercy, grace, and love. 

Let’s dig a little deeper into today’s verse. Have you ever noticed this verse doesn’t say blessed are the peacekeepers, but instead it says blessed are the peacemakers? Aren't they the same thing? I don’t believe so, and here’s why . . . 

The Peacekeeper 

Peacekeeping on the surface appears to be a quality Christians should strive for. Keeping the peace applies really well to minor offenses. Wisdom teaches us to pick our battles. However, if one is simply keeping the peace at the expense of resolving an issue or addressing a sinful pattern, then we need to ask ourselves why. Do we do this out of fear of rejection? Do we believe we won't be accepted if we’re not being a people pleaser?

When we duck away from conflict, we are shying away from a revealing teacher. Conflict can bring to light our triggers, attitudes, and communication skills. It reveals where we’re holding on to sins such as bitterness and pride. It uncovers unresolved wounds, unmet expectations, or our deeply held resentments. Peacekeepers are more likely to suppress their emotions to avoid the uncomfortable feelings that arise with conflict. Uncovering the deeper issues of our struggles and moving toward conflict resolution can produce lasting spiritual growth.

The Peacemaker

Peacemaking is a far more vulnerable endeavor. Making peace requires much more self-sacrifice than just peacekeeping. Biblical peacemaking requires the courage to speak the truth in a gentle manner. As we read in Galatians 6:1 (NIV, emphasis added), “Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.”

When we look at conflict less from the angle of winning and losing and more from the angle of problem solving, we promote a mindset of unity instead of division. A peacemaker works towards resolving conflict with the aim to provide healing and reconciliation. Jesus promised we would be blessed in our efforts to make peace. James 3:18 (NLT) states, “Those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness.”

None of us can create lasting peace without Jesus, the Prince of Peace. Apart from Him we can do nothing. When we seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, He will provide us with all we need to accomplish His will (Matthew 6:33). With His empowerment, we are able to be people who make peace in the midst of strife.

"Dear Lord, in order to have peace with others, I must first have peace with You. I confess my sins and repent. Your Word says if we confess our sins, You are faithful and just to forgive our sins and cleanse us of all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). Empower me to be more than just a peacekeeper Lord. Please help me to be a peacemaker, resolving issues in a loving and godly way. Amen.

I pray this morning that David, and other Peacekeepers, will learn how to MAKE Peace instead of stuffing their feelings deep down inside of themselves or absorbing them.  That they will learn how to work with grace and love to share their feelings, resolve conflict, and move toward resolving issues instead of running away from them.

Keeping the peace isn't healthy for any of us.  We must constantly strive to make the peace.  It's a battle, and one we must work on all the time.  Jesus wants us to be Peacemakers.  I pray we can do that daily!

"Lord Jesus, help me every minute of every hour to remember to make Peace, not just keep it.  There are so many valleys and battles in life.  We should be striving to resolve conflict and bring people together, not create bigger battles or argue with others around us.  I pray for David - that you will keep him safe today as he travels to do his job.  I pray that his heart will remain pure and turned toward you.  I pray that you will teach him your Words and your ways.  I pray you will keep him in church and with a pliable heart.  I pray for release from the strongholds and chains that bind him that he is unable to see right now.

I pray you would allow my heart and mind and emotions to fully heal.  That you keep me from sorrow and hurt and the trap of dysfunction.  Keep my eyes on you and in your Word.  Surround me with family, friends, and people who hold strong Christian morals and strength.  Open doors for me to new relationships at church where I can serve and learn more how to walk beside you better.  Please keep me under your wing and your protection.  I love you Jesus.  It is in your name I pray.  Amen."