The Challenge

 

This morning's devotion hit me, like a ton of bricks (as the saying goes); it hit me right between the eyes.

I have been stuffing down (and simultaneously exploding about) a situation at work. It has really gotten me frustrated over the past month.

A situation with a lack of respect, a lack of trust, and a lack of planning.

I was asked to be part of a team for our building, but in the end - and over the course of about four consecutive weeks - our team's planning and decisions have been usurped by someone above us - changing our decisions, telling us they don't like what we have decided, and making their own plans and decisions - effectively, rending our team useless and unnecessary.

I have been "exploding" with the other team members to each other.  We all feel disrespected, not heard, and useless. We all want to quit the team.  But we have all also been "stuffing" our feelings down and not addressing our feelings with Admin, going along with and acting like everything is fine on the surface.

When you read today's devotion (below), you will see what I mean.  It explains this situation exactly, and it allows me to understand that, obviously, my team and I are not alone in our feelings or actions in these types of scenarios.

I am going to pray over my situation.  God has shown me this morning that I am not acting with soul integrity, as James 3:17 teaches us to behave, and I want to act as God thinks I should.

I know I have work to do to reach this lofty goal James imparts upon us.  I'm not even sure I can do it, but if Scripture teaches it, I am positive I have to try.

Read today's devotion from Lysa Terkeurst and see if any of it resonates with you.  Maybe you can join me in the journey to soul integrity.  It is my prayer, that no matter our age or where we are on life's path, we will find our own personal soul integrity.

Happy Saturday my friends.

PRETENDING I'M FINE, PROVING I'M RIGHT

If someone says something or does something that hurts me, what is the godly response? Is it to pretend that everything is fine so I can keep the peace? Or is it to confront the person to prove how wrong she is?

Neither.

If ever I catch myself pretending or proving, I know I'm processing my hurt the wrong way.

The right way is approaching this situation with soul integrity—responding in a way that's not only honest but peacemaking. James 3:17 says, "But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure (honest); then peace-loving… " Yes, I want this kind of wisdom, this soul integrity.

I want to be honest and peacemaking at the same time. But how?

Real honesty. Not all honest expressions of my feelings are real honesty. You see, my honest feelings may not be truthful assessments of the situation. I can be honest with how I feel and still exaggerate or misinterpret what is true. I can feel justified in being blatant about my feelings—not hiding a thing—and prideful for being so real, all under the guise of being honest enough not to stuff.

But in reality, honesty that isn't true isn't honesty at all. It may just be emotional spewing. That's why we need peacemaking honesty—honesty reined in by the Holy Spirit—if we're going to have authentic soul integrity.

So, if I want real honesty, I have to ask the Holy Spirit to show me real truth. I need to see things from the other person's perspective. I need to ask questions of that person with the desire to better understand instead of throwing out statements of accusation. Ultimately, my goal should be to add peacemaking to my honesty.

Real peacemaking. At the same time, it must also grieve God to see plastic versions of peacemaking that aren't reined in by honesty. That's what we do when we stuff and pretend everything is okay.

The upside of stuffing is that we have the semblance of peacemakers. But when we do so at the expense of honesty, we harbor a corrosive bitterness that will eventually emerge. Either it will erode our health and later present itself in a host of emotional and physical anxiety-induced illnesses, or it will accumulate over time and surprise everyone when the peacemaker eventually erupts. Saying, "I'm fine," to keep the peace, when we're really not fine, isn't honest.

Sometimes dishonesty comes in the form of saying things that aren't true. But it's also dishonest when we fail to say things that are true. It may seem godly in the moment, but it's false godliness.

Truth and godliness always walk hand in hand. The minute we divorce one from the other, we stray from soul integrity and give a foothold to the instability that inevitably leads to coming unglued.

Yes, we're after soul integrity—honesty that is also peacemaking that leads to godliness.

This soul integrity brings balance to unglued reactions. It makes us true peacemakers — people who aren't proving or pretending but rather honestly demonstrating what they are experiencing in a godly manner. And being a true peacemaker reaps a harvest of great qualities in our lives: right things, godly things, healthy things.

PRAYER
Dear Lord, through You I am able to bring all my exploding and stuffing under Your authority and truth. Thank You for Your Holy Spirit who gives me the wisdom to move beyond my reactions. Help me lean on You. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Were You Let Down?

 

Good morning my friends, and Happy Valentine's Day.

I am sitting at my kitchen counter this morning, with my little pink and gold mug full of hot coffee, trying to stay warm and positive.

Yep, you read that right - positive.

I don't know about you, but I'm getting tired of trying to make it work - okay, make everything work, all the time.

The County taxes went up.  My homeowner's insurance went up.  My mortgage payment increased $200.  The basement pump is broken.  The fence is falling down, and my yard now looks like Sanford and Son's backyard. 

It just keeps piling on and on and on.  I'm exhausted.  I'm not sleeping through the night.  I just wonder, "God, when does the hamster wheel end and I get some peace?  When do I get to stop spending money on life and start spending it on others?"

And, a lot of times - our own personal woes with money, work, and staying afloat bleed into our own self-pity of being disappointed with others.

I can personally count on one hand - and probably two if I thought about it long and hard enough - the women around me who have been disappointed in the men in their lives.  Affairs, mental health issues, abandonment, and marriage & family commitment issues are just a few of the hurdles these women have faced.

It's not surprising our stress levels are high, that we are developing emotional scars, and that we are losing trust in other humans. 

I, too, struggle with trust issues.  Our past paths in life create scars in our hearts that blur our outlook on both our current and future paths.  All the women I am thinking about this morning are strong Christians, who have profound faith in God.  Yet, we all still struggle with being disappointed with someone in our lives.

As I sat here this morning, after another night of restless sleep and worry, I opened my laptop to see what God had for me.  I read this.  It really hit home and opened my mind to the reminder that I am not alone at being disappointed in people.  We all struggle with this one thing.

The key to remember - I believe - is to not let the devil see it and capitalize on it.  He relishes in our failures.  He delights in diverting us off God's path.  So, to my girls this morning - I see you.  I believe this devotion was for you.

I hope it touches you and reminds you - like it did me - that we must grieve; we must show God our tears and/or our anger; and we must accept that people fail, but God never will!

I see you.  I love you.  Embrace today - Valentine's Day - remembering that the greatest Valentine of all was Jesus and the gift of LOVE he gave us on that bitter, bitter Friday afternoon.  That give of LOVE redeemed us all.  YOU ARE WORTHY and not forgotten! 

When People Let You Down

Disappointment feels like a heavy rock sinking to the bottom of my spirit—especially when others disappoint or deceive me. Often I ignore my disappointment, shut it in a box and hope the lid holds. Sometimes I gloss it over with a quick, “People will let you down, but God never will.” True, but does this really help me process the hurt?

One morning, I poured out my sadness, anger and disappointment to God about a close relationship. As the tears slipped down my face, I begged for an answer: What do I do with this? Show me. I’ll do it because what I’ve been doing is not working.

In my spirit, Jesus said, “Grieve.”

Really? I questioned. I remembered that Jesus knew disappointment—Peter’s denial, Judas’s betrayal and the disciples falling asleep during his anguish before his crucifixion (see Matthew 26). Jesus understood my pain.

So I cried, feeling every ounce of the disappointment. I told God all the things I wished were different, all the things I thought this person had done wrong, and what I wished this person would change.

After the winds of grief subsided, I was done. Grieving was the bridge I had to cross to move beyond the disappointment. On the other side, I could embrace the relationship for what it was, not what it wasn’t.

Only after we’ve allowed ourselves to grieve will we know how to respond in the way God wants. We may need to talk to the person who disappointed us or get godly counsel. We may need healthy boundaries or to just let it go.

Once we’ve completed those steps, the words “People will let you down, but God never will” will be comforting, not empty.

By Melanie Chitwood

2 Corinthians 1

3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 5For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. 

Nine Months After - Moving Forward with Joy

 

Nine months.

How did I ever get to NINE MONTHS post heartbreak?

Well, for one - it wasn't easy.  There were days (and if I'm being honest, a few weeks) I couldn't get out of bed because of the depression and accompanying thoughts swirling around in my heart and head. It was HARD.  I wasn't sure I was going to make it some days.  But I kept going and pressing through those dark days.

Second - my little prayer rug.  I shared my prayer rug on my Instagram account during this time.  I made a home altar - a dedicated space to go prostrate before the Lord with those ugly cries, questions, and even demands.  It was so reassuring to have a space I could run to when I needed to pour out all my anguish to God.

Third - Plugging in.  God opened doors for me.  I got a paid position at my church, which - in turn, led me to meeting my core group of church friends - who provide so much wisdom to me on a weekly (and sometimes daily [thank you Jacque]) basis. I also joined a women's Bible Study at my church, which provided me with a group of ladies I could stand beside and be amazed at each week - their strength, character, and most of all their TALENT just inspired me each week (and still does today).

If I can emerge with beautiful, God-placed scars, you can too.

I read my daily devotional this morning, and it was so powerful and moving to me that I am going to share it in its entirety this am.  This is a great study on YouVersion.  I want to encourage you to do the plan if you are struggling with heartbreak in your life.

My prayer for myself and each of you reading this right now is that we will all reach the shores of Heaven happy, healthy, and whole.  (I'm not sure there is any other way to arrive on the shores of Heaven.) God knows you intimately.  God is watching; He is listening.  He loves you more than you could ever imagine.  If you haven't given your heart to Jesus, today - right now - is the perfect opportunity to come to know Jesus in a personal relationship.  He is waiting.  

Let Him take the hurt away.  Let Him heal you.  It IS possible!

I love you.  May your Sunday be richly blessed...

* * * * * *

Moving Forward

Let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus… Hebrews 12:1-2 ESV

Imagine you’re running a race with a heavy backpack slung over your shoulders. Performing well in that race would probably be difficult and painful. 

Similarly, when you hold onto heartbreak for too long—it weighs you down and prevents you from moving toward what God has called you to do. 

It’s not wrong to be heartbroken for a time, but the Bible warns us not to let it overstay its welcome: 

There is an occasion for everything, and a time for every activity under heaven … a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance. Ecclesiastes 3:1&4 CSB

There’s a time to hurt, but moving on is necessary for our well-being. It can be challenging, but God has given us several approaches for moving forward:

1. Focus on What’s Good

…Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Philippians 4:8 NLT

One way to approach moving on is to focus on the good. When you make more room for good thoughts, the less room there is for hurtful ones. Challenge yourself to battle negative thoughts or hurtful memories by thanking God for the blessings in your life. 

2. Look Forward

Forget the former things;

do not dwell on the past.

See, I am doing a new thing!

Isaiah 43:18-19 NIV

Unfortunately, what happened in the past will always be there, and we can’t change what’s happened to us. With God’s help though, we can start to move forward from what we’ve lost and focus instead on the healing He wants to bring. If we focus on what He’s doing, we have an opportunity to partner with Him and be a part of the good things He has planned. 

3. Rejoice 

We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope… Romans 5:3-4 CSB

Moving on gives us a unique opportunity to rejoice—not because we experienced pain, but because we’ve been given a chance to learn. A heartbreaking situation can be one of our most intimate times with God, and when we spend time with God, we learn from Him. We rejoice because with God, we come out of heartbreak with more wisdom. 

Healing is a process, but as we move forward from our past hurt, we can count on God being there every step of the way. 

Pray: 

God, thank You for being near me during my heartbreak, and for helping me bind up my wounds. As I move forward, help me to focus on Your love for me, Your love for others, and the goodness of Your will. In Jesus’ name, Amen. 

Embracing Singleness and God's Calling on Your Life!

 

Y'all.

I just read the best daily devotion on Singleness (is that a word?); it was so good that I want to share most of it here with you.

If you've been following along, you know the Lord allowed my life to change exponentially over five months ago when my partner walked out unexpectedly and without warning.

Through God's grace, amazing people have entered and come alongside my life to help me grow in understanding, wisdom, and healing.

And over the last month, as the Lord and I have dug down deep; worked our way through questions and tears; and taken painful yet necessary steps moving forward, I have begun to wonder if He isn't pulling back the curtain for a new ministry opportunity to appear.

If you are single now - meaning you have been for a while or are newly single - please click the devotion link above to start this plan today.  It is that good.  And please read the excerpts I am sharing below.

This is your path; this is my path.  No matter if you chose it or if it was "gifted" to you like myself, the Lord has allowed it to happen.  It is time to stop focusing on the whys and focus on the wheres.  God is taking you somewhere.  Settle into your seat, buckle up, and enjoy the ride!

Drop me a comment here or on my social media pages to let me know you are okay, settling in, buckling up, and enjoying the ride.

Happy weekend my friends.

"I spent too much time longing for a husband and wishing my days away. It was a lonely and miserable way to live. When I decided to look outside of myself and serve in the church, I found what I’m passionate about: I love connecting with people and encouraging women to root their identity in Christ. Through serving, my life took on new meaning. Suddenly, I was on fire for God in ways I hadn’t experienced before and I found true joy. I still want to find a husband, but it no longer weighs heavily on my heart. My biggest desire is no longer to hear “I do,” but to hear “well done my good and faithful servant.” 

God created each of us to play a special role in His Kingdom, and it’s only when we’re living in our calling that we can truly be fulfilled. We all have unique talents, experiences, and skills that point to our God-given purpose. Some are called to full-time ministry. Others are called to be a light in the corporate world. While the method may look different from person to person, as Christ followers, we’re all called to reach people for Jesus. Our marital status does not change that mission.  

In the book of Matthew, Jesus tells His followers to go make disciples and teach them to obey his commandments. He doesn’t say to wait until you’re married and then you can really start your ministry. He just says “go.”  

If you’re not sure exactly how God calls you to serve His Kingdom, ask Him to show you. In the meantime, just start serving somewhere. Don’t believe the lies that you aren’t a valuable part of the church and you can’t make a difference while you’re single. God sees you as chosen, anointed, and equipped—not someday, but right now. Spiritual maturity doesn’t come as a result of a change in relationship status. Spiritual maturity comes as a result of a relationship with Jesus. 

Maybe one day, God will call you into marriage. If that’s what you want, pray for it. It’s not wrong to pray for a spouse, but don't let that desire keep you from growing in your faith now and leading others to do the same. As Proverbs 16:9 says, we can make our plans, but ultimately, God determines our steps. Serve Him with everything you have today, and trust that He will lead you down the right path at the right time.  

Whether we are called to marriage down the line or not, God asks us to step into our calling now. We only get a short time on this earth, and we can’t allow our relationship status to keep us from fulfilling the purpose God has on our lives. So, go!

Forgiveness

 

I'm not sure I have much in me to write today.  God has not given me words lately.  And that's okay.

I write only when He tells me to, and lately - well - He has been a little silent.

I have begged, argued, cried.  But He has remained silent.

When God is silent, it is a sure sign you must WAIT.  It is also a sign you must dig into that Bible and read, read, read.  God wants you to study and grow.  He wants you to learn and listen.

So, I guess I've been doing that.  I don't really know what I've been doing.  Each day brings a new set of emotions, mental awareness, maturity, immaturity, security, insecurity, and so forth and so on.

I am dealing with so much.  I have so many questions.  But God has remained silent.

So I take what He gives and try to make it through each day as best I can.

I started reading Jentezen Franklin's writings.  Jentezen is the Pastor of Free Chapel, actually right down the street from me.  His words have been enlightening and precisely the wisdom I've been seeking.

Here is what I read this morning.  Words of wisdom, not just for me - but for anyone that stumbles across this post and reads the words as well.  I have been praying for forgiveness the last few days.  Meaning, I have been praying that God will allow me to forgive the person that "offended" me.  That I can release the feelings of foolishness bestowed upon me.  That I can release the feelings of being second best.  That I can embrace the whole embodiment of forgiving a person I love that hurt me so deeply.  It's been tough, but God is working.

Here is what Jentezen said this morning, and of course, it touches on forgiveness - because when God is silent, He really isn't:

Love Wins — All the Time (John 21:15-17)

Love is the answer to the broken home. Love is the answer to the addict. Love is the answer to fractured relationships. Love is the answer to being offended. Love is the answer to heartbreak. Love is a weapon that can shatter division and rebuild what has been broken.

What is happening in your life right now that tests you in the way you love? Did you just discover that your spouse has been cheating on you? Do you want to reconnect with the daughter you haven’t spoken to in months? Did your son just tell you his girlfriend is pregnant? Is your teenager suffering from an addiction that is overwhelming not just his life but every single person in your family? Has your adult daughter declared she’s a lesbian and she’s done with the whole God business?

Different dynamics and complexities characterize each of these situations. But they’re real. They’re hard. And they hurt.

I wonder what would happen if we decided that, with God’s help and in His strength, we are going to love like we’ve never been hurt. Instead of withholding affection, staying bitter or seeking revenge, we love.

God will begin, little by little, to release you from the past if you will reach for a new day.

It takes a lot of love and forgiveness to hold a family together. Love never fails. Keep on forgiving. Keep on loving. Keep on reaching. Keep on talking.

The Big Idea: The ones whom you love the most can hurt you the most. Love them anyway.

And therein lies my answer.  Love them anyway.

It takes a lot of love and forgiveness to hold families together.  I had to forgive my Dad for treating my Mother the way he did.  Watching him belittle her, dismantle her car so she was trapped at home, and finding receipts in his office that signified he was not being faithful to her or us as a family.  But I loved him and forgave him because I was called to do so.  I loved him despite all his flaws.

I have had to forgive others in my life over the past 57 years as well.  I even had to forgive myself for HUGE mistakes I made over the past 20 years.

...And I guess God is teaching me I will have to do it one more time.

I am going to have to break down and forgive a partner that tore our relationship in two - AGAIN.  I am going to have to forgive a partner that chose to remain living at home instead of creating a new family with us.  I am going to have to forgive the feelings of foolishness I feel placed on me for not seeing signs earlier or not having the wisdom to understand what was right in front of me.  And I am going to have to forgive that I was made to believe something was real when it was really just a comfort zone of "having your cake and eating it too."  

So much forgiveness to work through, but I see God placing teachings in front of me that talk about forgiving, and as I have said earlier - if Jesus can forgive all of us, I should easily be able to forgive those in my inner circle that caused feelings of hurt and being let down.  I can do this.  Just gonna take a little time...

So today's lesson - forgiveness.  As Jentezen writes, "Keep on forgiving.   The ones whom you love the most can hurt you the most. Love them anyway."

I hear you Lord. I am trying. I am trying. Thank you for one more day of grace to try again...

Ending with this sweet and simple prayer from Billy Graham:

"Thank You, dear Lord, for the hope I have in Your abiding love, which surrounds me."

Amen and amen!

 

Singleness: Being Seen vs. Wearing a Status

 

I love this quote from Dr. Christie, "...instead of 'single,' see yourself as first 'SEEN' by God."

So many of my friends are single.  Most of us that are single at my age (57) no longer wear "single" as a status.  We look at ourselves through a wonderfully broken mirror.

We have SURVIVED.  We are broken.  We have made mistakes.  We have recovered.  We are survivors.  We now, at this age, understand and can feel SEEN.

What a lovely place to arrive at.  With the majority of our lives behind us and Heaven coming up closer into our vision, we can now accept the mistakes we made, own them, and see ourselves as seen and move forward.

But some of my single friends still feel like Single is their Status, and do not yet feel Seen.  I love today's reading because it makes such an important point and made me look at a familiar Bible story in a new way.  That story is the story of Hagar.

Some of you may have seen Angel Studio's newest release, "His Only Son" focusing on the story of Abraham and Isaac.  In this film, we see Hagar briefly, as her story and pathway contribute and intersect with Abraham's.  She is in the movie for a fleeting moment, much like her time in Scripture (which is why most of us overlook her so many times).

Dr. Christie's viewpoint today takes the Biblical spotlight and turns it around to place it on Hagar.  Wow, what an important viewpoint and one we need to pay attention to!  If you are SINGLE and not feeling SEEN, let's read today's lesson together below.

"When you read through God’s Word as a single woman, you may not see yourself reflected in the “hero” stories of the Bible, but you’re wrong.

In fact, the very first person recorded in the Bible to call the Lord by His name was Hagar, a single mom.

Like Hagar, you may feel like you wear your “single” relationship status like a scarlet letter of shame. Hagar, being a single, pregnant woman was as vulnerable as you can be as a woman in that time and place. So, when the Lord calls her by name in Genesis 16:8 and says “Hagar, servant of Sarai, where have you come from and where are you going?” it’s like he has an exact GPS on her life. His question wasn’t because He didn’t know where she physically was, but it was one of care. He knew the details of her situation and He cared for her.

She saw Him and said, “So she called the name of the LORD who spoke to her, ‘You are a God of seeing’ for she said, ‘Truly here I have seen him who looks after me.”- Genesis 16:13

As an Egyptian servant girl, Hagar had never truly seen beyond her status. God saw her, her painful past, and her fears about the future and He gave her a blessing and spoke to her deepest fears by providing her hope and comfort."

Who else loves this new spotlight on Hagar?  Wow. 

Often portrayed as barely more than a "sentence" in Scripture, Dr. Christie shows us that God saw Hagar - a single, pregnant Mom - and cared for her.  

Even in Scripture, God shows us that being single (and pregnant) matters.  He gingerly comes to Hagar to say, "I see you.  I care for you."  Hagar immediately went from single as a STATUS to being single and SEEN.  How incredibly beautiful.

I love that we serve a God that puts a single, pregnant Mother into the Bible to show us that He SEES us.  Even in our SINGLENESS.

But wait.  There is one more nugget I want you to catch...

Scripture also tells us (and did you catch this part...) that HAGAR SAW HIM:  "Truly here, I have seen Him who looks after me." (Gen. 16:13)

God allowed a servant to SEE HIM.

A pregnant, single woman was permitted access to SEE HIM and to also call Him Lord.

To understand the weight and gravity of this opportunity, you have to remember the time period in which this experience happened.  Not only were women considered "less than" or unimportant, an unmarried, pregnant servant woman would have been considered the very least of all the "least."

This was an unprecedented event!

God then went even further and blessed Hagar and her unborn baby, speaking to the fears hidden in her heart and giving her comfort.

Wow.

I want you to take some time today and go read that story.  Let it sink in.  God is turning the spotlight of Scripture onto a pregnant, single, servant woman.

He is speaking to you.  You are not just a STATUS on a social media platform.  You are SEEN by a Holy, Righteous, and Powerful God.  The only God.

He SEES us.  He gives us hope and comfort.

Remove SINGLE from your status today and replace it with SEEN.  You have been SEEN.