Forgiveness

 

I'm not sure I have much in me to write today.  God has not given me words lately.  And that's okay.

I write only when He tells me to, and lately - well - He has been a little silent.

I have begged, argued, cried.  But He has remained silent.

When God is silent, it is a sure sign you must WAIT.  It is also a sign you must dig into that Bible and read, read, read.  God wants you to study and grow.  He wants you to learn and listen.

So, I guess I've been doing that.  I don't really know what I've been doing.  Each day brings a new set of emotions, mental awareness, maturity, immaturity, security, insecurity, and so forth and so on.

I am dealing with so much.  I have so many questions.  But God has remained silent.

So I take what He gives and try to make it through each day as best I can.

I started reading Jentezen Franklin's writings.  Jentezen is the Pastor of Free Chapel, actually right down the street from me.  His words have been enlightening and precisely the wisdom I've been seeking.

Here is what I read this morning.  Words of wisdom, not just for me - but for anyone that stumbles across this post and reads the words as well.  I have been praying for forgiveness the last few days.  Meaning, I have been praying that God will allow me to forgive the person that "offended" me.  That I can release the feelings of foolishness bestowed upon me.  That I can release the feelings of being second best.  That I can embrace the whole embodiment of forgiving a person I love that hurt me so deeply.  It's been tough, but God is working.

Here is what Jentezen said this morning, and of course, it touches on forgiveness - because when God is silent, He really isn't:

Love Wins — All the Time (John 21:15-17)

Love is the answer to the broken home. Love is the answer to the addict. Love is the answer to fractured relationships. Love is the answer to being offended. Love is the answer to heartbreak. Love is a weapon that can shatter division and rebuild what has been broken.

What is happening in your life right now that tests you in the way you love? Did you just discover that your spouse has been cheating on you? Do you want to reconnect with the daughter you haven’t spoken to in months? Did your son just tell you his girlfriend is pregnant? Is your teenager suffering from an addiction that is overwhelming not just his life but every single person in your family? Has your adult daughter declared she’s a lesbian and she’s done with the whole God business?

Different dynamics and complexities characterize each of these situations. But they’re real. They’re hard. And they hurt.

I wonder what would happen if we decided that, with God’s help and in His strength, we are going to love like we’ve never been hurt. Instead of withholding affection, staying bitter or seeking revenge, we love.

God will begin, little by little, to release you from the past if you will reach for a new day.

It takes a lot of love and forgiveness to hold a family together. Love never fails. Keep on forgiving. Keep on loving. Keep on reaching. Keep on talking.

The Big Idea: The ones whom you love the most can hurt you the most. Love them anyway.

And therein lies my answer.  Love them anyway.

It takes a lot of love and forgiveness to hold families together.  I had to forgive my Dad for treating my Mother the way he did.  Watching him belittle her, dismantle her car so she was trapped at home, and finding receipts in his office that signified he was not being faithful to her or us as a family.  But I loved him and forgave him because I was called to do so.  I loved him despite all his flaws.

I have had to forgive others in my life over the past 57 years as well.  I even had to forgive myself for HUGE mistakes I made over the past 20 years.

...And I guess God is teaching me I will have to do it one more time.

I am going to have to break down and forgive a partner that tore our relationship in two - AGAIN.  I am going to have to forgive a partner that chose to remain living at home instead of creating a new family with us.  I am going to have to forgive the feelings of foolishness I feel placed on me for not seeing signs earlier or not having the wisdom to understand what was right in front of me.  And I am going to have to forgive that I was made to believe something was real when it was really just a comfort zone of "having your cake and eating it too."  

So much forgiveness to work through, but I see God placing teachings in front of me that talk about forgiving, and as I have said earlier - if Jesus can forgive all of us, I should easily be able to forgive those in my inner circle that caused feelings of hurt and being let down.  I can do this.  Just gonna take a little time...

So today's lesson - forgiveness.  As Jentezen writes, "Keep on forgiving.   The ones whom you love the most can hurt you the most. Love them anyway."

I hear you Lord. I am trying. I am trying. Thank you for one more day of grace to try again...

Ending with this sweet and simple prayer from Billy Graham:

"Thank You, dear Lord, for the hope I have in Your abiding love, which surrounds me."

Amen and amen!