Do Not Be Conformed - Romans 12

Good morning.

Taking a moment to traverse down a different path this Monday.

I received an email today that really hit home with me.  I wanted to share it directly to social media, but it's too long.  So, I'm going to share it here.

I hope it resonates with you as well.  Great points to remember, as we let our thoughts take control of us sometimes, when maybe we shouldn't.

I guess God was trying to nail down this exact point to me earlier and into my finite, small human brain, as I laid in there in bed thinking about current events and past memories. Not only did the email I'm about to share arrive in my Inbox, but Proverbs 31 Ministries - at close to the same time - posted this on their social media channels on the exact same subject:

We cannot afford to ignore, pacify or play with our detrimental thoughts. We are encouraged to destroy them. Leave no trace of evidence that they existed.

In Paul’s letter to the church at Corinth, he used aggressive language to describe how believers in Christ are to deal with our thoughts. The words “demolish” and “captive” in 2 Corinthians 10:5 illustrate the seriousness of the battle raging in our minds.

In moments when we are bullied by our thoughts, we can ask ourselves:

Is this thought supported in God’s Word?

If the thought cannot be backed by Scripture, we can ask a second question:

Is there a Scripture that refutes this thought?

This is a hard practice to adopt consistently, but I am determined to embrace Paul’s admonishment.

We do not have to be victims of our thoughts, powerless to control them. We can combat untrue thoughts with the Word of God, who has also gifted counselors, pastors and trusted friends to come alongside us if we need help along the way. We are equipped to demolish and take captive every lie that stands in opposition to the knowledge of God.

Enough said.

I should know better.  But I'm human and still in the grieving process, so I'll allow myself a little grace over this year.  Note that Paul specifically said we are to demolish and take captive our thoughts, so I'll keep pushing through these valley moments. Because he said to.

Here is a little part of the email I received this morning.  I know there are those of you out there that read my writings, and I know you are grieving and hurting.  I know there are days where there is just no escape from the thoughts of the past or how we will make it to the "future."  What does our future even look like now?  But we are just going to have to hold on and trust in a loving God.

Others may have made the decision to leave us, but God Himself said He never would.  So while your faith in humanity may have escaped you for this moment in time or your trust levels may have dropped to an all-time low, try to pin that very precise thought of GOD saying He would never leave you somewhere in the furthest corners of your mind and then cling to it for dear life.  We are going to make it friends.  I promise.

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect”

(Romans 12:2).

The day may not go the way you want it to, not according to your plan. The plan to do this or do that may not be accomplished. The desire to be measured by standards of this world may not be fulfilled. But daughter, I don’t care about those things. I look to your heart. I care about the rich beauty held there, the depth of feeling and caring beyond yourself and your own desires, which only I can measure.

I have written you. I have created this heart of yours. I have created your mind and I know your personality, your will, the way you think about yourself, how you measure yourself, how you assess whether you rise or fall. And I have not made you to measure yourself. I have not made you to judge your worth. I have not made you to think so much about whether or not you are good or you are bad, you are successful or you have failed.

You are My girl. You are My daughter. You are the created one. You are created to point to Me, give honor to Me, worship Me. And because this is how you are made, this is what will bring you joy. This is the only thing that will end the striving, end the attempt to be a different person than whom I’ve created, so perfectly, so intently. 

Trying to live your life in step with the rhythm of this world rather than the way I have made you will bring exhaustion, ultimately, to your heart. Let it sing and have room to breathe and be fulfilled! My love will fill you; it will fill your heart, if you want it to. So, put your hand upon your heart. Feel the beating rhythm I have created. It is rhythm of Home, of freedom, of rescue, of a life you were designed, by My breath to live.

*Excerpt above courtesy of The Loop - Ministry for Women.

Becoming Fruitful

 

Early this morning, I had a brief text "conversation" with a family friend.

I was inviting him to a few events I am attending this weekend.  He has been struggling with some key items in his personal life, so I figured he would need the brief escape as much as I would.

He readily accepted my invitation and then followed up with a few texts that were kind and thoughtful.  His words were sweet and encouraging.

His texts reminded me - "Keep taking baby steps forward. Keep your eyes on Jesus.  And try to keep your mental and emotional focus off yourself.  Remember those around you."

My friend had shown interest and compassion into my situation (without knowing any details) even though he was currently struggling with his own things.

I want to be like my friend when I grow up.  I want to be able to produce fruit even when life doesn't look like it's going to turn out the way I envisioned and wished for.

When my own life is topsy turvy, I want to be able to remain calm and gentle.  Loving and not argumentative.  I want to always remember to lay my hurts and stumbles at Jesus' feet where He will remove their burden from my shoulders.

Chatting with my friend was a good opener to reading my devotion this morning.

I opened up Scripture and found the topic to be (no surprise - hello God) "Becoming Fruitful."

Proverbs 18:21-22 says, "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.  He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord."

Verses 21 and 22 go hand in hand, even though you may think they do not.

Look at it this way, "If you want to reap a harvest of happy, fulfilling years married to the apple of your eye, commit to planting seeds through your speech with words that will bloom love in all seasons."

I'm working on this one!  I am definitely not quick to pull the weeds of negative and hurtful words.  Positivity is hard for me, but I want to be great at it some day!

I was raised in an Italian home, and if you know anything about Italian homes, you understand that we are super quick to draw our swords and lunge at each other.  We get it.  We understand it.  But, I have had to learn the slow way that most people AREN'T Italian and have not grown up in an Italian home.  They don't operate under our family dynamics of arguing, making up with a kiss to each cheek, and then following up by breaking bread together over pasta and red wine.

Think about this for a minute:

"What seeds are you sowing into your relationship? 

Be quick to pull the weeds of negative and hurtful words by repenting and asking forgiveness as soon as they sprout. Your speech is a reflection of your heart, so be intentional about allowing both to be sowed into and reaped with only positive nutrients."

When I was raising my two, now-grown boys, they would often argue and fight.  A friend of mine, raising three girls, had implemented something in her child raising that seemed to work.  I implemented her method of forgiveness into my boy raising, and it has really been amazing to watch the effects from this method as the boys grow into men.

When my boys started fighting, I would have them face each other and apologize.  THEN, I would have the offending boy ask the other one, "Do you forgive me?"  Adding in that extra layer of forgiveness was really hard.  It's easy to spit out an ungrateful, "I'm sorry," but when you combined it with asking your brother for forgiveness, well then - it wasn't so easy.

As the boys grew, I noticed they sometimes used this extra layer of asking for forgiveness on their own.  I also tried to remember to use it when I got into arguments with them as teenagers or even now as young men.  Today, I find both boys readily apologize when they offend me and both have grown into men with compassion and kindness.

In a recent conversation with my youngest son after learning of my recent heartbreak, he said, "Mom, it's okay.  I hate to hear that.  Call me when you want to talk.  I'm here to listen."

Wow.  I did not expect that kind of compassion from a 23-year old.  A little shocking to this Mama's heart to be quite honest.  But wow.  What a tearful and joyous moment on the phone with him.  I thanked him for his gesture but assured him I had my small inner circle to glean and learn from and also to lean on.

Circling back to our Scripture verse from this morning...everything comes full circle when we pay attention.  God seems to always be talking to us, doesn't He?

Proverbs 18:21-22 says, "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.  He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord."

Just one more example of what loving on people can do.

Through my recent heart hurt, I have asked God to teach me how to love without arguing.  How to be open, honest, and transparent with those I love.  To love others through God's eyes, no matter what silence, rejection, or hurt is bestowed upon me.  I lay all of these things at the Cross.

If our speech is truly a reflection of our hearts, I need my heart to change.  I want to see people as God sees them.  I need to be intentional about reaping only positive nutrients and letting people know that God loves them, sees them as brave and courageous, and as the divine creations He created.

This was a big lesson for me today, and I am so thankful I had a dear friend speak to me in such a kind manner this morning, proving to be an excellent example of grace.  It makes we want to strive to be better.  To be kinder.

Today, I lay my heart and my hurts at the feet of Jesus.  I know that won't magically make the silence or absence of my loved one feel better, but I know it's the right thing to do.  If Jesus can love people through the pain and torture of a Cross, I know I can follow His example and try my best and hardest to be as much like Him as possible.

If anyone reads this, I hope you are encouraged as well.  Lay your hurts, your anger, and your disappoints of life at the foot of the Cross.  Jesus is waiting to remove the burden from you.  Don't hold on to it.  Let it go.  And then walk into the glorious presence of His grace, mercy, and love. 

Giving Up

 

Where do you go when there is nothing left?  When you have moved into the anger part of the grieving process?

At this point in life, we are all old enough to know the stages of grief.  Anger is one of them.

I think I'm there now.  I am just dead on the inside this morning.

"Okay, Lord.  It's 3:30 a.m.  I'm awake.  What do you want from me?  I got nothing."

Coffee made, laptop open.  "What do you want from me?  I don't get it God.  Why would you allow me to go down this road?  If you knew it was going to end up this way, and I was never going to be chosen, why would you allow me to be here?"

I've spent the last five weeks getting counsel from a wise and trained professional at work.  I've sat and listened to my brother.  I've listened to my cousin give what she calls "being raw with you." 

All advice is 100% the same, whether it came from a trained professional or a loving family member.  "You are enough.  It was the relationship that wasn't enough.  It wasn't you that wasn't chosen.  Another relationship was chosen as greater than yours."

Grief, in whatever form it comes, is tough.  Death, divorce, seperation of loved ones.  Whatever form you are experiencing, it is taxing.

So my rawness with God this morning (after all I have been through with Him) was just that, "I got nothing for you this morning.  Nothing.  I feel nothing.  God, I'm just empty and dead on the inside this morning.  Now what do you want me to do?  It's 3:30.  I'm up and wide awake.  Tell me."

Silence.

Great.  I'm getting used to silence.  I'm getting used to waving my hand and saying, "Hey!  I need help.  I'm drowning over here," and hearing, "That's great!  Have a nice swim!" in return.

You'd think a call for help would elicit a knee-jerk response of, "Hold on!  I'm coming!  You're not going to drown.  I'm here.  I'm going to help you!"  But it doesn't always...

In these sink or swim moments, we learn to swim better.  Harder.  Stronger.  As my cousin told me, "What people don't understand is when we get hurt - when they hurt us - we just get stronger, and we eventually find out we don't need them.  We come from a long line of strong women in this family."

But what happens when you don't want to learn to swim on your own?  You want a life preserver thrown out to you?  You want to be rescued?

Sometimes, you don't get the things the heart wishes for - and in those instances, you have to swim in order to survive.

I've learned in the last five weeks, that I am enough, but that my love or the relationship I was a partner in for five years was not enough.  It was apparently not great enough to survive a competing family relationship.  My partner did not throw out the life preserver.  And five weeks later, no help has ever arrived to save me from drowning.  The empty shores of the lake I am drowning in remain silent and still.  No one is coming.  A sure sign a decision has already been made.

So God.  Why do you have me up at 3:30 a.m.?  Tell me again?

Silence.

Okay, God.  Maybe someday I'll understand your ways.  This morning, I do not.

This morning, I opened up my reading and Billy Graham (one of my favorite writers) said:

The Home

The first essential for a happy Christian home is that love must be practiced. Homes that are built on animal attraction and lust are destined to crumble and fall. Love is the cohesive force that holds the family together. True love contains an element of spiritual mystery. It embodies loyalty, reverence, and understanding. Love imposes a tremendous responsibility on all members of a family, but it is a responsibility accompanied by glorious rewards. “Love,” says the Bible, “even as Christ . . . loved the church, and gave Himself for it.” How did Christ love the church? He loved it despite its faults, its mistakes, and its weaknesses. True love does not fail. It loves despite personality defects, physical blemishes, and mental quirks. Love is deep, abiding, and eternal. Nothing can bring a sense of security into the home as true love can.

Great God.  This is what I open up my Bible to?  The Home?  "...the first essential for a happy Christian home?"  Well, I have certainly failed here.  Three times to be exact.

"Love is the cohesive force that holds the family together.  It embodies loyalty, reverence, and understanding.  Love imposes a tremendous responsibility on all members...but it is a responsibility accompanied by glorious rewards."

"Love as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it."

"Love despite defects, blemishes, and quirks.  Love is deep, abiding, and eternal.  Nothing brings security as true love can."

Okay, I hear you - but I'm still angry.  Angry for a love that was taken away - but I'm left wondering, "Why was it given in the first place?"  Angry with a partner that can't understand that fear is not from above, and that Scripture once again plainly says, "Nothing brings security as true love can."  Angry that I gave five years of my life to a pathway I thought was ending in a union of two lives, but instead, it was a pathway that lead to being not chosen and put in second place.

I hear you God.  I can't fix everyone or another person's heart.  I can only fix me and mine.

Thank you Lord for the open doors you have provided the last two weeks.  For a friend that reaches out from time to time to say, "You can't hermit away forever; remember that."

For the new work opportunity of being a chaperone to one of the biggest gaming events in the Southeast and being a part of our new gaming club (I love those kids).

For the invitation to work at our church and be a part of both women's groups.

Thank you God for providing when I am hurting, confused, and just plain 'ole empty on the inside.

I don't know why you have me up so early, but I guess I'll find out.  I love you Lord, and I am so thankful for each person in my life.  Each person, professional, family member, and girlfriend that keeps reinforcing in my tiny brain, "You are enough."

Maybe one day the grieving process will end.  I'd like to think it will end positively, but at this point, I am just giving up and giving in.  Lord, tell me where to go.

I'm tired of trying.  Tired of drowning and hoping the person on shore throws the life preserver. There is no preserver coming because there is no one on shore.  I am learning to swim on my own now.

Thank you for giving me the strength to wake up each day, to take one more lap around the lake, and to keep positive.

Thank you for sending your Son to us so we can live each day with hope and gratefulness.  I surely do not understand your methods or why you allow bad and sad things to happen to us - but I will always keep going.  I know that's what you want for me.  To keep going until I reach the end prize.

This morning, I am giving up and giving in - just so you know.  I don't have any fight left in me.  I am flat-out and running on empty.

I tried.  I lost.  Help me grieve the loss I didn't want and begin to heal.

Not my will but yours.  Always and forever.  Let's do this Jesus...

So I Have Loved You

 

Have you ever been "shifted?"

I had the wonderful privilege of being "shifted" this weekend.  If you've been one of the few following this blog, you know I have been struggling over the past five weeks.

I am transparent with my life because I know it helps others.  You have reached out to me via e-mail, texts, and spoken word.  I am grateful to a God that allows my life experiences to be used for the good of others.

Humbled actually.  

...That a mighty God would reach down and ask me to do something?  That is so humbling.

That is exactly what happened yesterday.

Early Sunday morning, I woke up and found my heart had been shifted.  I did not do the shifting.  It had been SHIFTED for me.

The only real explanation I have for this is God.

I woke up early as usual.  As I stretched and tried to become coherent, I felt different.  I felt "shifted."  I felt as if my heart had "shifted" into a mode of prayer FOR my person.  I felt so much love inside my heart, I knew it had come from above.  Not a "person" love, but a true holy and Godly love.  

And honestly, I can't say this has ever happened to me before.  It felt as if my heart was going to burst and that my person needed to hear they were loved.  God was very clearly asking me to let my person know he was loved.

I heard a quiet, still small voice whisper, "Write [your person] a love letter."  Without questioning, arguing, or wondering, I got out of bed, grabbed my bedside journal (a must for all of you struggling with anything - grief, broken homes, family issues, and more - get those prayers and thoughts OUT and on paper!), walked to my bedroom desk, and begin writing in those early morning pre-dawn hours.

I have NO IDEA what I wrote.  The words just flowed.  To this very moment, I couldn't tell you what I penned on those three small pages.  I just wrote what was given to me.

I'm still not 100% sure I fulfilled God's agenda or wrote what He wanted me to write.  In fact, I am struggling with there being too much of "me" getting in the way of that letter and not enough God.

I know God wanted it to be a letter full of His love to my person.  I know God wanted my person to know how much he is loved and cherished despite his struggles and questions.  I am so afraid I messed up the job!  All I can say is that I did what I was told; I wrote what came to me.  I hope God is not disappointed.

I ripped the pages out of my journal, folded them in half (did not even proof read them because I was afraid I would "tweak" what God had given me), and threw them in a brown, paper bag I had ready for church that held some of my person's personal belongings inside it.

I got to church early.  I was so nervous.

The first service wasn't let out yet.  I waited.  I was so nervous.

What would I do if I saw my person?  Was he even at church?  I had no idea.  Would he approach me and ask if we could talk if he was there?  Would he ignore me?  What would I do if he ignored me?  My mind was racing.

I remembered the task God gave me a few hours earlier, and I laid my fears at the foot of the cross, took a deep breath, and waited.

The first service finally released.  The sanctuary doors swung open, and I saw my person exit.  Our eyes met briefly.  He looked away and kept walking, in a direction away from me.

I repositioned myself closer to where he walked.  Would I have the courage to speak to him or give him the letter?

Our eyes again met briefly. He looked away a second time and then moved into conversation with someone.

I repositioned myself closer to him again, but after two obvious, "I don't want to engage with you" moments, I found I was shaken to the core and had lost any remnants of bravery I once held.  I could not bring myself to approach him.  I was devastated.  I did not possess the bravery needed, even after so much time and love between us.

But, alas,  this was not to be the end of the love letter story.  God was determined to get His letter of love to its destination.  He had a plan.

I forgot. Where I fail, God does not.

At that very specific moment, when I had no courage left, a sweet friend arrived by my side.  The timing was impeccable.

Seeing me almost in tears, she walked up to me and quietly said, "Where's the bag?  I will give it to him."  And so she did.

I was so relieved.  I had been on the verge of failing God.  Something I didn't want to do.

In my humanness, I didn't know how to overcome the fear I was encountering. All courage had drained from me.  So God made a way.  He provided bravery where none existed.

You see, even in our human failings, God remains faithful and just.  His love for us is so great, it overshadows even the moments we are on track to fail.

God already knew I was going to fail.  He knew I would try, and that was the important thing.  He gave me a task, and I tried my best to complete it. In the end, He provided an alternate method.

I'm not sure why, but I am still amazed every time I witness a "God story."

You may wonder how this story ended up later that day, after God's mission had been accomplished...Honestly, I don't know.

I was only the messenger.  I witnessed no big revelations.  No outreach.  Only God knows what that letter accomplished inside the intended's heart. 

I was the servant, doing a task I was asked to do.

We won't always know the outcome of tasks God gives us.  We have faith, and we plant the seeds.

And then, we TRUST.  We trust an Almighty and all-knowing God to know more and better than us.  We lay our lives in His hands and do what He asks.

Do I miss my person?  Of course I do.

I miss the intimate and private moments of sharing a life together.  I miss the laughter.  I miss his smile and goofy dancing.  I miss his loving nature and the way we got along. 

But, at the end of the day, I still have to stand by the decision I made. At some point in our relationships, we have to put each other first.  And I wasn't in that position for my partner.

At a certain point, I broke.

I had to take all the wisdom that was being given to me by family members, friends, and professionals over the past year and place it into action.

I will continue to pray for my partner.  And I will still always carry hope that one day he will be able to change and make "us" his first and top priority.

Today, right now, I'm not 100% sure he is capable of that leadership decision.  I believe there is too much fear of the unknown and leaving a life built on a family foundation of complacency, safety, and security.

I'm not sure he's at a place where he can put all his trust in God yet or claim a role of leadership.

Maybe that's why I was prompted to write that love letter.  I don't know.

What I do know is this. Today, I believe I was given final confirmation from God regarding this mission.

As I sat down to read, the Scripture posted above was the first thing I read:

"As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you."

Wow! Exactly!

Look at that closely and again - "As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you."

This verse is Paul talking about passing on God's great love for HIM to others.  Others that he loves.

Full circle.

Thank you Lord for your confirmations.  Thank you Lord for using me, an imperfect vessel.  And thank you Lord for providing a way despite my failures.

My prayer each day is this - I pray we all come to know God and His Son, Jesus, in a personal relationship.

God is the full embodiment of love, and He will always be our answer - for everything we are going through.

Always give your failures to Him. He will make a way.

Always lay your fears at His feet. He will make a way.

When He speaks, listen. When He asks, go.

We will not always know the reasons He asks us to do things, and we may not always know the results.

But we should be honored to have been asked...

Until next time, peace.

 

How Did I Get Here - Grace and Strength

It's been a rough night.  Yesterday was good.  Hopeful.  But the thief came in the night, after a long day.

Something crept into my pathway that wasn't supposed to be there, and it reared its ugly head.  It got me.  The enemy got me.

I broke.  I cried.  I vented to my two best girlfriends via text.  I fell asleep crying - again.  

I hate being weak.  We all do.

I want to be STRONG.  I want to be the Italian woman my family raised me to be, and dammit, I hate when the enemy wins.  

This morning, the leftover battle is raging.  I'm struggling, but I'm hanging on.  Slowly taking baby steps, through actions, to being alone and single again.  Trying to regain the person I knew.  Let me say this - I.HATE.IT.

Are you struggling with a battle?  It's the holidays, and that makes it a not-so-much-fun time to be struggling.  By the grace of Jesus and the people surrounding me, I will make it.  Flaws and all.

Remember this - not everyone abandons you over your flaws.  Jesus loves you with your flaws and helps you climb out of your valleys and back onto solid ground.  Your family and inner circle of true friends won't abandon you over your flaws, heap them like coals on your head, or refuse to reach out to help.

Sometimes, we have to bring our flaws to daylight to fix them.  Even when we extend our hands to those in our inner circle, and that we love dearly, they will not return the favor.

That doesn't mean we are less than.  It just means some people are not capable of or do not possess what they need deep down to love, serve, and help you or those around them on an emotional or mental level when those chips are played on the proverbial table.  Their love and acts of service may only be surface-level "deep."

That doesn't lessen you.  Remember that. ❤️

Maybe these people are empty themselves and need their pitcher filled consistently. 

Maybe these people will point the finger at you to say you are selfish, mean, or nongiving - when in reality, they didn't get filled from you, and they are now turning themselves inside out - allowing that emptiness to be projected onto you - even when you may not be able to fill them because you are struggling with something yourself.

The enemy is always looking to devour and consume.

I was devoured and consumed last night.  I tried to do the devotion below last night.

I was hungry and needy for it - but God.  BUT.GOD.

God said REST.  SLEEP.  You need renewal; read in the morning.  So, I did. ❤️

As always, I hope this Ben Stuart video and reading will help you.  It was right on time for me, and I try to always share my struggles with you, in the hopes it will help someone else.

My heart hurts; it's broken.  I won't lie.

I took one step forward, allowing a person "inside" - a peek into my bubble to what cripples me, and it was met with refusal, abandonment, and a simple statement of, "I can't help you."  Ouch.

Sometimes, it is painful to realize that those we love most can't help us.

Sometimes, they are not physically - mentally - or emotionally able to reach out a hand when we are in a valley.  For plenty of reasons...

This is such a great (and important) devotion from Ben, and a gentle reminder that it's not always just life pulling or knocking us down.  It's the spiritual realm at work.

The enemy knows us all well.  He knows how we tick.  He roams the earth to and fro looking for someone to devour.

It's just my turn, and sadly, my loved one's turn as well.  (I can't help but think of my loved one as I read today's devotion...)

I can't make people change their paths or make healthier decisions.  Each person has free will and they have to be cognizant of the choices they make and the effects each decision will have.

Maybe the presence of myself in my loved one's life was not enough - or not needed.  Maybe they needed to be filled in other ways I or even my family could not provide.  Sometimes, the enemy plays his hand extremely well and this time and in this case, I've lost the hand.  The house is winning...

So I'm thankful for a God and a Jesus that love despite our (my) struggles and shortcomings.  So blessed for an army of family and friends that uplift and love well.  I am humbled, as always.

Jesus, may I always turn to you first when my heart hurts, in a valley, or struggling.  May I understand that I am not perfect and I am a sinner, saved by GRACE.  Each day, you come into my heart to renew me and give me new life.  May I never leave a loved one in a valley struggling or not know what to say or how to help.  May I always show them the GRACE you have showed me.  I want to be a better server (a gift I do not possess).  I want to be a little bit more like you each day.  Thank you Jesus - Amen.

"So, what’s our enemy’s goal?

His goal is to get us to sin — for us to take a step away from intimacy and enjoyment with God. But in order to do that, he’s got to make sin look attractive.

How does he do it? Well, let’s look at what he knows.

What he knows is you. Specifically, he knows your wiring. He knows that you have a mind and cognitive processes. He knows you have affections that you’re inclined towards and averse to certain things. And he knows you have a will, a decision-making mechanism.

He knows you have a mind, affections, and will. You’ve got a brain, you’ve got a heart, and you’ve got hands and feet, and he knows your particular tendencies. He knows your proclivities — what you’re inclined to and adverse to. He’s watched the game film on you. So how does he work?

Well, to get sin to look attractive to you, he’s got solicit thoughts to the mind to stir your affections. And when he stirs your affections, you take a step, and you move to a place you were never meant to be because the enemy knows this principle: what you think about is what you care about, and what you care about, you will chase.

Now you may say, “Ben, where are you getting this?” Well, I’m getting it from James, who says, “Each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire” (1:14 ESV).

Lured speaks of the mind’s attention, and enticed speaks of the heart’s affection, and then, when you enact the will, you sin, and you take a step in a direction you are never meant to go.

Jesus told his disciples, “Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation” (Matthew 26:41 ESV). If I know temptation always leads to sin, Jesus says draw the battle line here at temptation. If this moment leads to that moment, we need to—number one—eliminate the moment."