Loving Judas

 

Billy Graham said, "In the midst of sorrow and trouble, this life has many blessings and enjoyments which have come from the hand of God. Even our capacity for love is a gift from God."  He went on to pray, "Give me a generous heart, Father, that does not grudgingly give back to You all that is rightfully Yours."

The past three months have not been easy in my household.  Not only have I been trying to traverse through heartbreak and losing the person I thought was my soulmate and forever partner, but my son and even my pets have had their obstacles through the breakup as well.

Despite being in the midst of this "sorrow and trouble" period, one thing I have learned over the last 12 weeks is the lesson of counting your blessings.

My prayer partners were quick to tell me, at the beginning of this valley period, that I needed to start counting off, out loud, my many blessings any time I felt sad, heartbroken, or losing hope.

As Billy Graham quoted above, I can concur that counting off your blessings immediately changes your countenance.  All our blessings come from the hand of God, even our capacity to love is a gift from Him.

Through the entire period of my heartbreak, even as recent as this morning, I have still been able to pray for David.  I pray that God keeps him safe and protects him.  I pray for strongholds to be let loose, and I pray for a renewed heart turned back toward God.

This capacity to LOVE someone in our path, who does not love us, comes directly from God.  It is not something we, as humans, are inherently able to produce on our own.  It is beyond our nature to love our enemies.  

This gift of loving those who do not love us bestows upon us an incredible amount of FREEDOM.  A freedom that surpasses any of our own understanding.  It frees us from the devil's chains of anger, hurt, and frustration while at the same time liberates us to love others through God's love.

The capacity to be able to forgive people that have hurt us, left us, or even spoke untruths against us is immeasurable.

I love that Billy Graham then ends with a prayer that includes, "Give me a generous heart Father..."

I want to echo Billy Graham and the prayer he prays.  I want to strive to be that person.  I want to embrace positivity, joy, and happiness in my daily life and in my daily interactions with people.  I want to manifest the Fruits of the Spirit.

And I never (ever) want to forget what Jesus did for me, especially during this Season in which we celebrate His birth.

Because of what Jesus did for me, I am able to love Judas and not just Jesus.

Here's a little something I read today:

"Do you need to forgive someone? Love empowers you to do that. Do you need to exercise humility? Love gives you what you need to do that. Do you need to exercise integrity, mercy, patience, or gentleness towards someone? Love makes it all happen! There’s nothing good that love can’t enable us to accomplish. Above all these things, look to love and allow it to be all sufficient at all times!"

I am so thankful that even in times of sorrow and trouble, I serve a God that has placed His Holy Spirit within me - that although I am human and will always fall short and many times fail at His commands - I am secure enough in my salvation and personal relationship with Jesus to love those that may come against me.

My faith has sustained me, and I can't imagine living in this world or through these valleys without it or Him.

"Lord, I acknowledge my deep need for Your love in my life to enable me to be and behave as You call me to. I ask for a mighty filling from Your Spirit of Your love and ask that You lead me in how I am to exercise it. Thank You for giving me all I need as I need it through Your love. Amen."

Let's Redefine Limitations

 

Several years ago, I was sitting at my desk at the nontraditional high school I work in.  Back then, our school was in a different building.  One much smaller than the brand new, multi-million dollar building we now reside in.

Our school program had small beginnings when I started working there 10 years ago.  At the time, we had 4 teachers (one for each subject) and 44 students.  Now we have grown to a staff of over 100 and a student body of over 4,000 students - both full- and part-time.

But let's go back a step to the beginning for a moment...On that fateful day I am referencing above, I was sitting at my desk.  A desk and countertop combination that sat in the small, front office of our school.

To my left was our Principal's office.  Directly behind me and to the left was our graduation coach's office, and straight behind me was a small and short hallway that led to the staff breakroom, Counselor's office, Nurse's office, and a staff restroom.

On this particular day, I distributed the staff's W-2 forms to their mailboxes.  It was between class periods, and the teachers had gathered in the breakroom to get water, coffee, and check their mailboxes while visiting for a minute or two.  They only had a few minutes before they had to return to their classrooms for the next period.

As each teacher retrieved their W-2 forms and opened them to see what their figures were for that year, I heard our Graduation Coach say, "Y'all, I know we say teachers don't make a lot of money, but we really do make a lot of money!"

I kept working.  Yes.  They do make a lot of money.  Most of them make close to six figures.  Six figures for a job that while emotionally and mentally hard at times, gives them a daily schedule that is good (most work 7:30AM-3:30PM), gives them two months off in the summer, a week at Christmas, a week at Thanksgiving, a week in the Spring, and a week in the Fall.  Six figures and a ton of time off.  Yes, life is good for them.  

Most of them have multiple college degrees, work extra hard, and give teaching everything they have - mind, heart, soul, and body.

But I kept working.  The educators make good money.  The rest of the system, maybe not so much.  While I sat there running the front office - keeping guard over student information, keeping the books, running events, maintaining our school's social media channels, and so many other things, I didn't make good money.  It was hard listening to them laugh and talk about how much money they had.

To be fair and to put a disclaimer here - I love my job.  I love my team, the people I work with.  I love my school.  I don't want to be anywhere else right now.  But there are limitations on me and my life that others don't possess.  And that is why I loved reading these words from Katherine Wolf today,

"Thriving in limitations is possible for us, too. In fact, our weak parts, ugly tendencies, failures, and inabilities provide open spaces for miracles to spring up. Our limitations today are merely shadows of the ultimate limitation—death—which was exactly the limitation through which Jesus worked out our salvation. If Jesus can redefine death as the way to life, can we believe our pain can have a purpose?"

Katherine points out that even though so many of us possess some type of limitation, if we will just readjust our lenses and look through the eyes of Scripture and Jesus's life, we will see that even our SAVIOR had limitations.

And quite honestly, I've never thought Jesus had any limitations.  We just don't look at or view Jesus that way.  HOWEVER, reading about redefining limitations this morning refocused my view and made me wonder why I never saw Jesus with limitations before now.

He was limited when He was put into human form.  He was limited to everything tied to being human while He was here.  He was limited by death.

But yet - death was the very thing that provided freedom and salvation to the rest of us - and the world.

Can you wrap your mind around that fact?  Jesus took His limitations, and He redefined them to an avenue of purpose.  Wow.

I feel so completely limited most of the time.  I'm not retiring soon like my age-counterparts.  I'm not happily married for decades, like so many of my counterparts.  My house isn't close to being paid off like so many of my age-counterparts.  I am at a job I love but barely making enough to pay my mortgage and utilities.

So many limitations to battle daily.

But sitting down to read Katherine's words this morning made me see Jesus had  limitations too, and look what he did!  He took the ultimate limitation and created an avenue that changed the world forever.

This morning, I hope you will read Katherine's words and see that even though we all possess some type of limitations - financial, physical, or emotional - we can also create freedom and pathways to liberty for ourselves and for others.

I know it's hard to climb out of your own head and emotions most days, but as Katherine pens so eloquently, "If Jesus can redefine death as the way to life, can we believe our pain can have a purpose?"

I'm going to try and remember that my pain in this life can have a purpose too.  I'll keep trying to climb and surmount my obstacles daily.  I'll keep waiting for God to show up.  And then, I'll keep trying to see how God is redefining my pain into a purpose.

Keep pushing through the pain and limitations of this world.  If Jesus can take His limitations and redefine them, we can too.

2 Cor. 12:9, "But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me."

Not One

 

Good morning.

I am sitting here sipping my coffee, from my trendy Rae Dunn mug, reading my devotionals, and listening to Fox & Friends talk about the sky-high, record number of Fentanyl deaths in 2022.  Seems like I am multi-tasking on spot this am, but then, I am shocked by something I read in my devotional.

Before starting my reading this morning, I asked God to show me what I needed to learn - a short and somewhat superficial prayer I admit because I am running behind in my morning schedule.

Actually, I'm feeling pretty good this morning, so I was thinking, "I'd better ask God what He wants me to learn because I'm not FEELING any particular downsides this morning."  (How superfluous of me!)

Well never ask God those types of questions because, like asking for patience, He will often grant the request readily.

I read my first devotion.  Nice enough and a good reading, but nothing I felt compelled to write on.  Next up, Lysa.  😶

You know Lysa will hit you between the eyes when you least expect it...and here is a paragraph I read in her devotion this morning that shot through me unexpectedly:

"You know what is really odd, Lysa? All those years of high school and college, I was a very visible person, had lots of friends and received a college basketball scholarship at a major university, yet no one—no family member, peer, girlfriend, teacher, coach, professor, fan—not one person ever told me about Jesus. All those years, all those people, and not one time did someone try to tell me the truth. Finally, when I was 21, someone shared how they met Jesus, and it radically changed my life.”

Wow.  Did you catch that?  This young man was twenty-one before one Christian in his life or who crossed his path shared the saving grace of Jesus with him.  A sad, but all too familiar story.

At that precise moment, I realized the Fox & Friends broadcast playing in the background of my morning scenario was talking about the record number of Fentanyl deaths in America last year. The two clashed together around me like a lightning bolt striking in the middle of a torrential thunderstorm.

You can read that quote from Lysa's high school classmate and think, "Wow!  Twenty one years and not one single person told this young man about Jesus!  How many Christians must have crossed his path and never shared their faith and beliefs?"

You could also correlate that quote to the fentanyl news story on the high number of people who died from a drug overdose.  How many of those people had also never heard about or accepted Jesus?  How many people of faith had crossed their paths?

...or, you could think like I did when I read it for the first time, "I'm not sure if I should be shocked and saddened by that quote or what if God had ordained that specific moment in time?  Maybe if this young man had been told about Jesus earlier in his life, he would have rejected Him or maybe hearing about Jesus would not have had the impact it did later on when he was 21 years old.  Maybe this was God's plan all along.  This young man needed to be at an exact and precise moment in life in order to change and make an impact in the world."

Regardless of either scenario (obviously, God knew when this young man was going to accept Jesus into his heart), one truth rings out loudly to me as I read the story - WE ALL NEED TO KNOW AND ACCEPT JESUS INTO OUR HEARTS.  

Not one person is beyond the saving power of our Savior.  Whether you are 4, 8, or 21.

I can't say the story below touches me in all the ways it was intended to.  I think it was shared to prompt us to share Jesus with everyone we know, and quite honestly, I am the worst at sharing Jesus.  I can do it here each day, but if you ask me about it in real life, I am one to shy away and not want to cross your line, offend you.

I know I have to get better at this.  I don't want to ever stand before my King and hear Him say I denied him.  I don't want to be like Peter on this one thing, but honestly, I'm just not as good at it as others.

Maybe that will be one of my personal goals for 2023 - to grow in my witnessing skills and in my ability to share Jesus and the Gospels.  I can't bear the thought of this story "including" me.  I don't want any person I know and love to one day say, "All my life, you never shared Jesus with me.  Why?"

If you don't know Jesus, this morning (or whenever you are reading this) is the perfect time to meet Him.  Pick up a Bible, download the YouVersion app, and just start searching.  If you are ready to meet Jesus right now, bow your head and pray this simple prayer.  (Yes.  It is that simple.)

Listen to me - Satan and the demons all know Jesus.  They've met Him.  They know him intimately.  He created them.  Yet, not one of them will be in Heaven with Him for eternity.  There is a difference between knowing who Jesus is and knowing and loving Him.

Take two minutes out of your day and pray this prayer with me.  If you need help, reach out.  People like myself and others around you, as well as Jesus Himself, are all waiting to listen and help.

"Jesus, thank you for the chance to come to you right now, in this moment of silence.  I admit I am a sinner and that I can't get to Heaven on my own.  I realize that I need Your help to get there and that I can't get to Heaven on the basis of what I have done here on Earth.  The gifts of grace and mercy can only be given by You.

Jesus, please come into my heart and make me a new creation before you.  I acknowledge you as the Lord and King of my life and will do my best to learn your Word, commit it to my heart and mind, and live under Your guidance as best I can.

I admit I am a sinner, and by accepting Your gift of eternal life, I know I will go to Heaven and live with You forever.  For we are not saved by our works, but only by the grace You freely give.  Thank you Jesus for offering me this gift and for showing me it's the only way to get to Heaven.  Amen."

 

Today's devotion, from which the quote above was pulled, is below.  I hope it helps you as much as it did me this morning.  Happy Monday my friends! 

No One Is Beyond the Reach of Truth

I am convinced that people don’t care to hear about our Jesus until they meet the reality of Jesus in our lives. Our history with Jesus and what he has done in our lives is the most effective salvation message we can share with others. Our history is “his story.”

Truth lived out is the best sermon.

One evening after I spoke at a pregnancy care center, a board member came forward to close in prayer. I almost fell out of my chair when I saw this board member was a guy I’d known in high school.

Well, let me clarify. I knew who he was. He didn’t have a clue who I was. He had been in the überpopular crowd. He was a star athlete who dated the beautiful girls. I was easy to miss.

After we chatted for a few minutes, he got a very serious look on his face. Then he said something I won’t forget.

You know what is really odd, Lysa? All those years of high school and college, I was a very visible person, had lots of friends and received a college basketball scholarship at a major university, yet no one—no family member, peer, girlfriend, teacher, coach, professor, fan—not one person ever told me about Jesus. All those years, all those people, and not one time did someone try to tell me the truth. Finally, when I was 21, someone shared how they met Jesus, and it radically changed my life 

His statement startled me. I hope it startles me for the rest of my life. No one is beyond the reach of truth.

Who in your life needs to hear his story in you? Jesus will handle all the details. We obey. God brings results.

Here's a good one, from the Red Hymnal, sung by Natalie Grant and Kim Hopper (two of the best):

 

 

How Did I Get Here - Grace and Strength

It's been a rough night.  Yesterday was good.  Hopeful.  But the thief came in the night, after a long day.

Something crept into my pathway that wasn't supposed to be there, and it reared its ugly head.  It got me.  The enemy got me.

I broke.  I cried.  I vented to my two best girlfriends via text.  I fell asleep crying - again.  

I hate being weak.  We all do.

I want to be STRONG.  I want to be the Italian woman my family raised me to be, and dammit, I hate when the enemy wins.  

This morning, the leftover battle is raging.  I'm struggling, but I'm hanging on.  Slowly taking baby steps, through actions, to being alone and single again.  Trying to regain the person I knew.  Let me say this - I.HATE.IT.

Are you struggling with a battle?  It's the holidays, and that makes it a not-so-much-fun time to be struggling.  By the grace of Jesus and the people surrounding me, I will make it.  Flaws and all.

Remember this - not everyone abandons you over your flaws.  Jesus loves you with your flaws and helps you climb out of your valleys and back onto solid ground.  Your family and inner circle of true friends won't abandon you over your flaws, heap them like coals on your head, or refuse to reach out to help.

Sometimes, we have to bring our flaws to daylight to fix them.  Even when we extend our hands to those in our inner circle, and that we love dearly, they will not return the favor.

That doesn't mean we are less than.  It just means some people are not capable of or do not possess what they need deep down to love, serve, and help you or those around them on an emotional or mental level when those chips are played on the proverbial table.  Their love and acts of service may only be surface-level "deep."

That doesn't lessen you.  Remember that. ❤️

Maybe these people are empty themselves and need their pitcher filled consistently. 

Maybe these people will point the finger at you to say you are selfish, mean, or nongiving - when in reality, they didn't get filled from you, and they are now turning themselves inside out - allowing that emptiness to be projected onto you - even when you may not be able to fill them because you are struggling with something yourself.

The enemy is always looking to devour and consume.

I was devoured and consumed last night.  I tried to do the devotion below last night.

I was hungry and needy for it - but God.  BUT.GOD.

God said REST.  SLEEP.  You need renewal; read in the morning.  So, I did. ❤️

As always, I hope this Ben Stuart video and reading will help you.  It was right on time for me, and I try to always share my struggles with you, in the hopes it will help someone else.

My heart hurts; it's broken.  I won't lie.

I took one step forward, allowing a person "inside" - a peek into my bubble to what cripples me, and it was met with refusal, abandonment, and a simple statement of, "I can't help you."  Ouch.

Sometimes, it is painful to realize that those we love most can't help us.

Sometimes, they are not physically - mentally - or emotionally able to reach out a hand when we are in a valley.  For plenty of reasons...

This is such a great (and important) devotion from Ben, and a gentle reminder that it's not always just life pulling or knocking us down.  It's the spiritual realm at work.

The enemy knows us all well.  He knows how we tick.  He roams the earth to and fro looking for someone to devour.

It's just my turn, and sadly, my loved one's turn as well.  (I can't help but think of my loved one as I read today's devotion...)

I can't make people change their paths or make healthier decisions.  Each person has free will and they have to be cognizant of the choices they make and the effects each decision will have.

Maybe the presence of myself in my loved one's life was not enough - or not needed.  Maybe they needed to be filled in other ways I or even my family could not provide.  Sometimes, the enemy plays his hand extremely well and this time and in this case, I've lost the hand.  The house is winning...

So I'm thankful for a God and a Jesus that love despite our (my) struggles and shortcomings.  So blessed for an army of family and friends that uplift and love well.  I am humbled, as always.

Jesus, may I always turn to you first when my heart hurts, in a valley, or struggling.  May I understand that I am not perfect and I am a sinner, saved by GRACE.  Each day, you come into my heart to renew me and give me new life.  May I never leave a loved one in a valley struggling or not know what to say or how to help.  May I always show them the GRACE you have showed me.  I want to be a better server (a gift I do not possess).  I want to be a little bit more like you each day.  Thank you Jesus - Amen.

"So, what’s our enemy’s goal?

His goal is to get us to sin — for us to take a step away from intimacy and enjoyment with God. But in order to do that, he’s got to make sin look attractive.

How does he do it? Well, let’s look at what he knows.

What he knows is you. Specifically, he knows your wiring. He knows that you have a mind and cognitive processes. He knows you have affections that you’re inclined towards and averse to certain things. And he knows you have a will, a decision-making mechanism.

He knows you have a mind, affections, and will. You’ve got a brain, you’ve got a heart, and you’ve got hands and feet, and he knows your particular tendencies. He knows your proclivities — what you’re inclined to and adverse to. He’s watched the game film on you. So how does he work?

Well, to get sin to look attractive to you, he’s got solicit thoughts to the mind to stir your affections. And when he stirs your affections, you take a step, and you move to a place you were never meant to be because the enemy knows this principle: what you think about is what you care about, and what you care about, you will chase.

Now you may say, “Ben, where are you getting this?” Well, I’m getting it from James, who says, “Each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire” (1:14 ESV).

Lured speaks of the mind’s attention, and enticed speaks of the heart’s affection, and then, when you enact the will, you sin, and you take a step in a direction you are never meant to go.

Jesus told his disciples, “Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation” (Matthew 26:41 ESV). If I know temptation always leads to sin, Jesus says draw the battle line here at temptation. If this moment leads to that moment, we need to—number one—eliminate the moment."

 

 

Psa. 80:19, "Restore us, Lord God Almighty; make your face shine on us, that we may be saved."

Have you ever loved someone so much and in a way that hurts your heart?

Have you ever watched someone struggle with an addiction they didn't realize was an addiction and become a second person - hidden away from the rest of their friends and family?  Living with a secret, so to speak, actually becoming two different people?

It's not fun.

But God.

When faced with and in these situations, God is listening.  God is watching.  God understands, feels, and rescues.

Earlier this week, I was suddenly woken up at 11 p.m. Wide awake and prodded to go down a certain path.  One I had not traveled down - ever.  But after being a Christian for  almost 40 years, I can recognize when it's God calling.  I know when it's God prodding me to do something.  It's such a different feeling than when a thought is coming from your own head or maybe your own insecurities.

So I took His hand and followed.

I didn't like where He led me.  My heart sank.  I mean, really sank.  God led me to a curtain.  He gently pulled it back and let me peek inside.  

It's been two days.  I've shared my heartbreak with two of my best friends.  What do I do with this information God has given me?  How do I proceed?  All agreed - take the time necessary - pray - gather your thoughts and feelings and proceed lightly.  All agreed - two different personalities, maybe addiction.

I'm not talking drugs or alcohol.  I'm talking self-esteem, acceptance, adoration, leadership.  It's terribly hard to watch. Hard to watch a loved one transform into someone else - go down a road they've been down before.

So why am I sharing this?  I guess for multiple reasons.  One, I need to journal it out.  Two, I need prayer and wisdom and guidance.  Three, if you're reading this, you may be facing the same thing.

I don't have an answer for you, and I certainly do not have an answer for me.  I have cried.  I have felt duped.  I have felt empty.  But I have also stood in the darkness of my bedroom, at the foot of my bed arguing and talking with God.  Pretending He was right in front of me - and I was putting my loved one at the foot of Jesus' feet and at the base of the Cross.

I have asked God, "Why did you lead me here?  What was YOUR purpose?  Does my loved one need rescuing?  Are we fighting for his soul?  Do you want me to save him or do you want me to leave him?"  Quite honestly, I have no idea.  So I am asking God daily (and sometimes hourly), "Show me.  Give me Scripture that I need.  Give me words that will need to be said.  Words that will heal and show empathy, not grow anger and discord, separation."

If you are lost with a loved one, like I am this morning, let's join together virtually hand-in-hand praying for them. Asking God to show us why we are in this battle.  How can we help our loved one and how can we move forward?  How can we bind up the evil and cast it out?  How can we fill the void that casting out will leave?  How can we lead our loved one to Jesus?

I'm not weary - yet.  I'm listening to you Jesus.  Show me where to walk.  Give me the Scripture I need to move forward.  Give me the empathy and words my loved one will need to hear.  I am really sad right now.  I feel duped - my loved one has been leading two lives.  I feel sad for my loved one, and I feel alone because I'm dealing with someone who does not think like I do nor do I understand this world they are in - the draw of it - or why it's so important.

Jesus - please hear myself and those reading this who are struggling with the same issue.  We ask for you to grant us wisdom and patience.  Put Scripture in our midst that will help not only us but our loved one.  Put resources and people in our paths that will help us and our loved ones.  We ask that you bind the evil that controls our loved one, bind it, and toss it into the eternal lake of fire, freeing our loved one from the snares and talons.  We ask that you allow our loved ones to heal and ask Jesus into their hearts.  We ask that you block all future paths of temptation with your Heavenly Hosts and keep their hearts safe and guarded.  Give us what we need to protect ourselves and also to help our loved ones.

Jesus, thank you.  Thank you for your love, your grace, your patience - and for showing me behind the curtain.  Give me the tools I need to fight.  I stand ready for battle for my loved one.  But I need your help.

Train me.  Equip me.  I am here.

Amen.