Listening

 

This morning was interesting. 

Before my feet even hit the floor, I was in prayer.  No revelations or epiphany this morning.  Just good, 'ole-fashioned prayer with the Lord.

I picked up my phone and went through a few old conversations, digging deep and going way back.

What I came away with was something gleaned.  Divine interference?  Maybe.  I really don't know.

I felt something stirring inside of me.  My heart seemed touched.  The question looming in my head was, "What can I do for you?"  And then, I thought - maybe God is trying to tell me something.

My brother told me this morning, after I shared my morning prayer time with him, that we, as Italians, have a common trait we need to be constantly working on.  We talk.  In fact, we probably talk too much, to our detriment.  We need to be listening more.  

I think that while I have always been listening, maybe my heart was not in the right place or where it needed to be during past conversations. Several questions flooded to my heart this morning while I prayed and read those old conversations.

"How can I do better for you?" "What do you need from me?"  "What can I do to help you?"

As I listened and read, I saw that my responses in the conversations were plentiful and long.  But the person's responses with whom I was in conversation with were short and often shared what they needed from me or what was missing.  

I thought I had been listening, but it looked like I was stampeding over my conversation partner.  My high emotions at the time had not yielded to the heart of the other person.  What I was accusing the other person of, I seemed to be guilty of as well.

My heart sunk as I scrolled through the old conversations.  So much could have been derailed if I had just actually answered those thoughts and feelings.  If I had just said, "I'm sorry. What can I do for you?" or "I'm sorry.  What do you need from me?"

Fast forward several hours and a conversation with my brother later.  Dog and cats fed.  Coffee brewed.  Opened up today's reading - from Billy Graham - and this is what I found waiting for me.  How does God always know what is coming down the line and prepares us and our hearts for it?

"The blind man, Bartimaeus, threw off his cloak and ran trembling to Jesus. 

And Jesus said, “What do you want me to do for you?” 

He said, “Lord, that I may receive my sight.” 

In that moment as he said, “Lord,” his spiritual eyes were opened. And Jesus said, “Your faith has made you whole.” 

Notice—not your intellectual understanding, not your money, not your works—but your faith. Faith! That’s all it takes! 

Immediately Bartimaeus, who had been blind all of his life, began to open his eyes, and the first thing he saw was the face of Jesus. What an experience—to open one’s eyes and look straight into the strong, tender face of Jesus! 

Bartimaeus met Jesus, and the record says he “followed Jesus in the way.” When you go back to your business, or your home, or your neighborhood, or your friends, or your school, you don’t go alone. Christ goes with you.

Did you catch that?  Jesus said, "What do you want me to do for you?"

Maybe I did have a divine appt. and epiphany this morning after all!  God had been preparing and calling my heart to a new place before I even opened up Scripture.

He softly said, "Debbie.  I need you to stop talking and start listening. You are missing things."  Suddenly, my heart flooded with new emotion.  I had been missing this key part of living and relationships (I think) my entire life. It felt like a blurred view had suddenly come into focus.

To be honest, I've been praying a long time for change like this to come into my heart - I mean months, if not years.  I wasn't born with a "sweet" gene, and I've always been envious of those that had it.  What a wonderful feeling to finally "get it" and understand true empathy and love for others.

As I laid in bed praying and reading those conversations, things suddenly became clear.  I recalled conversations with our Principal at school, often talking to our staff about meeting students where they are.  Asking questions like, "What do you need from me?" and "What can I do to help you?"

I could hear his talks ringing in my head. Everything was clicking.

Then I heard that familiar still, small voice say, "Debbie. Now, I want you to extend an olive branch this morning."

Wait, what? You want me to act on this right now?  I thought we were just going to let me apply this to all future situations...You're kidding, right?

He continued, "Here's what I want you to do and it may not end like you want it to, but I want you to be brave, have courage, and reach out this morning.  I want you to tell someone that you hear them.  That you know what is important to them, and that you are asking, 'May I do this one thing for you? I know it means a lot to you, and I'd like to give this gift to you.'"

So, I did it.  I extended the olive branch.  Truth be told, I was hesitant before I did it, but I felt so sure it was God prompting me, I didn't dare resist.  I hit the Send button on my olive branch message and put my faith in God's plan.

I'm still a nervous, anxiety-ridden wreck at the moment and as I write this.  But I feel certain of the message God gave me early this morning. Regardless of the answer I receive, I know God has a plan and I followed through with what He asked me to do.

On a more positive note, I shared this experience with both my best friend and my brother.  I asked both of them for their opinion on my olive branch message.

Both were incredibly positive and said, "You did the right thing." To make it even better, both added, "That is a big thing I need to work on as well.  I don't listen as well as I should."

It is truly a hard thing to stop talking at times, especially when emotions are running high and we feel we have been run over or we want to get our point across.

But if we don't give any credence or yield to the other person in conversation, is it really a conversation?  We must listen to grow into the full person God intends us to be and to show other people we truly care about their thoughts and feelings.

Scripture is filled with commands to stop talking and actually listen.  There is also that old adage that says, "God gave you one mouth and two ears.  That means you should listen twice as much as you talk."

I believe my prayer time, olive branch message, and subsequent reading time this morning were a gift to me.  I was able to view past conversations in a new light and see how I may not have been truly listening to the other person. How I may have missed what their heart was trying to convey in that moment.

I want to change this.  I want the people I am closest to in my life to feel like they can share their thoughts and feelings with me and that they can trust me to listen and be available to them.  That I am listening to them.

I don't want my conversations to reflect only my thoughts and feelings or to only be a reflection of me; I want to listen in conversations and help others through their struggles as well.

That's why we are here, and that's how we show love best to those we love the most.

We serve a big and mighty God.  Change is always possible, and I want to be pliable clay in the Potter's hands.

Happy Thursday everyone, and remember - take the time to listen to those you love and to whom you are the closest with today.  It will change your life and theirs.

  

Becoming Fruitful

 

Early this morning, I had a brief text "conversation" with a family friend.

I was inviting him to a few events I am attending this weekend.  He has been struggling with some key items in his personal life, so I figured he would need the brief escape as much as I would.

He readily accepted my invitation and then followed up with a few texts that were kind and thoughtful.  His words were sweet and encouraging.

His texts reminded me - "Keep taking baby steps forward. Keep your eyes on Jesus.  And try to keep your mental and emotional focus off yourself.  Remember those around you."

My friend had shown interest and compassion into my situation (without knowing any details) even though he was currently struggling with his own things.

I want to be like my friend when I grow up.  I want to be able to produce fruit even when life doesn't look like it's going to turn out the way I envisioned and wished for.

When my own life is topsy turvy, I want to be able to remain calm and gentle.  Loving and not argumentative.  I want to always remember to lay my hurts and stumbles at Jesus' feet where He will remove their burden from my shoulders.

Chatting with my friend was a good opener to reading my devotion this morning.

I opened up Scripture and found the topic to be (no surprise - hello God) "Becoming Fruitful."

Proverbs 18:21-22 says, "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.  He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord."

Verses 21 and 22 go hand in hand, even though you may think they do not.

Look at it this way, "If you want to reap a harvest of happy, fulfilling years married to the apple of your eye, commit to planting seeds through your speech with words that will bloom love in all seasons."

I'm working on this one!  I am definitely not quick to pull the weeds of negative and hurtful words.  Positivity is hard for me, but I want to be great at it some day!

I was raised in an Italian home, and if you know anything about Italian homes, you understand that we are super quick to draw our swords and lunge at each other.  We get it.  We understand it.  But, I have had to learn the slow way that most people AREN'T Italian and have not grown up in an Italian home.  They don't operate under our family dynamics of arguing, making up with a kiss to each cheek, and then following up by breaking bread together over pasta and red wine.

Think about this for a minute:

"What seeds are you sowing into your relationship? 

Be quick to pull the weeds of negative and hurtful words by repenting and asking forgiveness as soon as they sprout. Your speech is a reflection of your heart, so be intentional about allowing both to be sowed into and reaped with only positive nutrients."

When I was raising my two, now-grown boys, they would often argue and fight.  A friend of mine, raising three girls, had implemented something in her child raising that seemed to work.  I implemented her method of forgiveness into my boy raising, and it has really been amazing to watch the effects from this method as the boys grow into men.

When my boys started fighting, I would have them face each other and apologize.  THEN, I would have the offending boy ask the other one, "Do you forgive me?"  Adding in that extra layer of forgiveness was really hard.  It's easy to spit out an ungrateful, "I'm sorry," but when you combined it with asking your brother for forgiveness, well then - it wasn't so easy.

As the boys grew, I noticed they sometimes used this extra layer of asking for forgiveness on their own.  I also tried to remember to use it when I got into arguments with them as teenagers or even now as young men.  Today, I find both boys readily apologize when they offend me and both have grown into men with compassion and kindness.

In a recent conversation with my youngest son after learning of my recent heartbreak, he said, "Mom, it's okay.  I hate to hear that.  Call me when you want to talk.  I'm here to listen."

Wow.  I did not expect that kind of compassion from a 23-year old.  A little shocking to this Mama's heart to be quite honest.  But wow.  What a tearful and joyous moment on the phone with him.  I thanked him for his gesture but assured him I had my small inner circle to glean and learn from and also to lean on.

Circling back to our Scripture verse from this morning...everything comes full circle when we pay attention.  God seems to always be talking to us, doesn't He?

Proverbs 18:21-22 says, "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.  He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord."

Just one more example of what loving on people can do.

Through my recent heart hurt, I have asked God to teach me how to love without arguing.  How to be open, honest, and transparent with those I love.  To love others through God's eyes, no matter what silence, rejection, or hurt is bestowed upon me.  I lay all of these things at the Cross.

If our speech is truly a reflection of our hearts, I need my heart to change.  I want to see people as God sees them.  I need to be intentional about reaping only positive nutrients and letting people know that God loves them, sees them as brave and courageous, and as the divine creations He created.

This was a big lesson for me today, and I am so thankful I had a dear friend speak to me in such a kind manner this morning, proving to be an excellent example of grace.  It makes we want to strive to be better.  To be kinder.

Today, I lay my heart and my hurts at the feet of Jesus.  I know that won't magically make the silence or absence of my loved one feel better, but I know it's the right thing to do.  If Jesus can love people through the pain and torture of a Cross, I know I can follow His example and try my best and hardest to be as much like Him as possible.

If anyone reads this, I hope you are encouraged as well.  Lay your hurts, your anger, and your disappoints of life at the foot of the Cross.  Jesus is waiting to remove the burden from you.  Don't hold on to it.  Let it go.  And then walk into the glorious presence of His grace, mercy, and love. 

Speaking Over Life

 

"Lord, You are always at work to redeem, and I want to be used by You. I give my words to You. Teach me to be a godly woman who speaks up in godly ways. In Jesus’ Name, Amen."

Wow.  What a prayer today from yesterday's Proverbs 31 ministries morning devotion!

"I give my words to You.  TEACH ME to be a godly woman who speaks up in godly ways."

That'll preach and hit you right in the heart.

We all want to be used by God.  But somehow, we keep getting in our own way don't we?

I have been dealing with (as you have read) what I feel is an addiction within my own family walls.  I feel, if it's not an addiction, it is something that is blinding.

I feel I have authority over this coupled with knowledge because I have walked where this family member is walking, and I hear their words - I see their actions - and I RECOGNIZE them.  I am scared for them ... and for MYSELF.

I want to compromise and meet them half way, but now, after vocalizing that compromise, I feel sick to my stomach when I see them engaging in this circle of activity and I am just not at peace with it.

Will I have to go back on my word and my compromise?  I need some godly wisdom, and I need to be taught how to speak with wisdom from Heaven.

Sometimes being silent with our words is good.  Maybe we should hold our tongue and listen more.  Maybe we should be silent to learn more.  But then ... there are times when being silent isn't good.

Are we being silent because we feel inferior in knowledge?  Are we being silent because we feel our opinion is outnumbered or will be mocked in the conversation circle we are sitting in?

Being silent is a double-edged sword.  We must pray, pray, and pray some more!  Let our silence be laced with wisdom - not fear of losing in some manner.

Today, as you read the Proverbs 31 morning devotion with your cup of coffee in hand, think about your silence and how you wield it.

"God has a purpose for our voices! He’s calling us to use words of wisdom and faithful instruction. Let’s follow the examples of godly women in Scripture and choose to be women who speak up in godly ways. We can all learn to use our words as conduits of His redemption."

Proverbs 31 (in Scripture, not the ministry) calls us to speak with wisdom and faithful instruction. Let's enter into our Saturday meditating on this chapter and ask God how he would have us to speak today.

God has already laid out your Saturday.  How we handle that path is a matter of prayer and wisdom.

My friends, may your Saturday be peaceful and blessed.  Until next time, 

Unseen

 

Happy Thursday friends,

I've been struggling a little bit lately, so I thought I'd write it out.  :)

I've gone from election night blues to a righteous anger to a dull ache.  I'm trying to stay in focus and in touch with the Lord, and He has been good - dropping some really incredible resources in front of me.

...and I've been learning so much.

...but still.  Sigh.

Anyone else feeling it too?

I'm feeling like a drug addict not knowing where to get the next hit.  I loved my Fox News "bookends" for years now.

Fox & Friends in the morning while I got ready and then, Tucker and Sean before bed.  It was the perfect good morning and end cap to my days.

(I've never cared much for the news folks in the middle.  My apologies if you do, I just never did...)

So now that Fox News has gone all CNN and MSDNC on us (the Christian, Conservative Right), I'm off in a new realm...

...and it's left me feeling empty in my morning routine - as I said above - like a drug addict with no stash and not sure where to find one.

Fast forward to this morning and my no-news, no-Fox & Friends blues.

I decided it was time to fill in the void with Jesus.  I could watch some YouTube videos people have been sending me of Rabbis and Preachers or I could watch Unashamed by the Robinson family.  Instead, I decided I just needed to PRAISE.

So that's what I did.

"Alexa, play PRAISE and WORSHIP."  My Pastor, Louie Giglio, always says, "When you are down and out, just turn on Praise and Worship music; it's amazing what it can do for your soul and your Spirit."

Listening to that music this morning was great, and it helped lift my spirits just as it was intended to do.

As I drove to work, I asked God to provide guidance today - whether from a friend at work or a reading He would lay in my path.

(I so love when God shows up specifically.)

Below is what he gave me, from my daily Levi Lusko reading.  I love it because (for me anyway) it specifically addresses how I feel about the current election process going on in our Country.

So many people praying and asking for God's direction, protection, and healing - and yet, we all know there is so much more to the story than we can actually, physically see.

God is the BIGGEST, the most POWERFUL, and the most MIGHTY.  He can see things we cannot see, and in times of desperation, like now, we must remember that and lean into the shelter He gives.

Hidden In Plain Sight

The human eye sees more than you realize—much more than you can actually process. For instance, when you look up at the stars, you are technically looking at all of them; you just can’t perceive all you are seeing. I can prove it to you. A telescope or other lens just magnifies and brings into focus what you are already looking at, what is there all along. Even in the daytime, the stars are right in front of you, hidden in plain sight. The reason you can’t make out what you are seeing is because of distance and interference. So it is spiritually.

You must not rely on the naked eye. What you think you see is not all that is there. There are unseen things. Spiritual things. Eternal things. You must learn to see life through the eyes of a Lion. Doing so is to utilize the telescope of faith, which will not only allow you to perceive the invisible—it will give you the strength to do the impossible.

Proverbs 28:1 says, "The wicked flee though no one pursues, but the righteous are as bold as a lion."

2 Cor 5:7 says, "For we live by faith, not sight."

Great verses to remember during a time in our Country's battle for righteousness, protection, and healing.

Remember friends, our battle is not over.  We still have a lot of fight left to save and protect our Country.  Keep praying, keep studying, and stay on guard.

The enemy roams back and forth ready to devour.  We must be ready to defend.

Stand strong Patriots, and don't let the funks overtake you, as I learned this morning.  Together, we have the Lord in this fight with us!