Faithfulness

 

The seventh fruit of the Spirit is faithfulness.

This is something I have been struggling with forever.  Both for myself and toward others, meaning I sometimes find it hard or difficult to be "faithful" to others but I also struggle with others being faithful to me and why that can be difficult.

Yesterday, someone slipped and told me my previous boyfriend came to church the weekend I was out of town. (There is a back story to this, but I will digress on that part.)

I realized while praying this morning that my immediate and first reaction was HOPE.  My mind had wondered to questions like, "Why was he there?" "What did my brother and sister-in-law say to him?" "Did he ask about me?" "Maybe there is some HOPE left."

And then I silently said, "God, my hope is not in man.  It is in you.  You are the ANCHOR I hold on to, not man.  If I am being honest God, my immediate and first thought was HOPE when I heard this information and that was wrong of me, but you already know my innermost thoughts and feelings, so you already knew what I felt and thought.  I will keep going forward as I have been directed and keep my eyes focused on you."

This morning, I poured my first cup of joe and then sat down to read today's devotion.  It was a late morning because I was out late last night.  I don't normally venture out much anymore, especially not late at night to concerts or out of my bubble zones.  But a close family friend had invited me to join his family on an outing and fun adventure to a little music club to see his brother - a famous (unbeknownst to me) folk singer - perform.  It was wonderful, and I thoroughly enjoyed my time with his family and visiting a new town, a new venue, and a new performer.

As I sat down to read, the study was on faithfulness.  I haven't felt much lately during my readings, and I haven't felt the Lord pushing or calling me to write.  Honestly, I have been struggling a little bit and have felt broken and lost.  (As a side note:  I am so thankful to be back with my wonderful Christian Counselor who each week gently guides me back to the center line and keeps me focused - "You are not broken or lost.  You are 100% completely normal in your grieving.  Everyone goes through this.")

So reading about faithfulness was good this morning, as I sipped the hot coffee from my new Krusty Krab mug.

I had been struggling with faithfulness, as my last partner (as you may have read here before) has huge issues with this fruit and his struggle has hugely impacted my own life the last four months.  Faithfulness is not something my circle of family and friends normally struggles with.

Coming from a big Italian family, faithfulness was never something in doubt or question.  We may have fought, but we were fiercely faithful to each other - even through times of loneliness, anger, or even unhappiness.  You worked through those emotions and came back together stronger.  Fleeing has never been an option for us.

Same holds true with my inner circle of friends.  We may ebb and flow and move in and out of crossing paths, but we always remain faithful to each other, coming back together to support and love each other through the hard times, the difficult times, or even disagreements we might have with each other.

Today's devotion verse, Hebrews 10:23 says, "Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.

That hit me deep and hard.

Let us hold fast.  Hold fast.  Cling to.  The confession of our HOPE without wavering.  For HE who promised is faithful.

When we cling to something, or hold fast, we are anchoring on something - like a belief or a principle.  Something so deep down in our soul, we can't be pried from it.

It's not hope in a person like I briefly held onto yesterday.  It's something so much more.  Something more profound and real.  Something deep down in our soul.

When our HOPE is in Jesus, we are secure.  Something that worldly hope cannot provide.  Hope in man will fail you, eventually at some point.  HOPE in Jesus does not waver because He has promised us He would be faithful.

God's faithfulness - and this seventh fruit of the Spirit - is seen throughout Scripture.  We can read examples of it in story after story.  We can look at our own lives and see where the fruit has been produced within us and for us.  God is faithful.  He will never leave you or forsake you.

My walk with Jesus the past four months has been life changing.  Through the heartbreak of unfaithfulness, I have been anchored to - held fast to - my HOPE, a Savior that has unending faithfulness to me and that produces fruit in my life.

And I know He will always be faithful because Scripture says He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

Today - this morning - is a great time to place your faith in Jesus.  He is our anchor that we hold fast to.  He will never leave you, so there is no fear in trusting Him or relaxing in your relationship with Him.  There is no fear of hurting His feelings or you not being enough for Him or even you being responsible for filling up his emotional love tank.

He is the same for us today as He was yesterday, and He will be the same for us tomorrow as He is today.

Go ahead and put your trust and faith in Jesus.  Biblical HOPE is so much greater and more powerful than worldly "hope."  Give Jesus your heart and your life.  I promise you will never look back or be the same again.

Let's end today's writing with these exact words put into a beautiful, blessed song from the very gifted singer and songwriter Cody Carnes:

KINDNESS Linked with FORGIVENESS

 

I hate how the human heart and mind ebb and flow through crisis periods of life.

One day, you are doing well; the next, you are in bed until 1pm.

Such was today, with a beginning embedded in last night.   I woke up at 5am, read messages already on my phone from a few early-riser friends, and rolled over.

I finally got up a few hours later, but it wasn't long before my mind and body both betrayed me, and I was back under the covers watching the next few episodes of The Crown.

Finally, at 1PM, the sun was trying to peek through my bedroom blinds and break through the 36-degree weather outside.  I threw back the covers and made my way to the kitchen to talk myself into some positivity while making coffee, eggs, and bacon.

At 1:45PM, I decided to see what God had to say today.  I'd already been to my little bedroom altar in prayer and tears, after a night full of arguing with God.  Surely, He had something good to give me in response to our conversations together.

A girlfriend of mine, whose marriage dissolved this year - after multiple decades - send an encouraging picture and a few texts.  I guess those of us in "misery" love company, but nothing seem to be reaching me today.

I'm at a point where my broken heart just feels like a millstone around my neck.  No matter how much praying I do for healing, it's like the Lord is saying, "No, keep going."  I am despising social media, tv movies, and even going out to eat right now.  Seeing couples together on dates just kills me and makes me incredibly sad.  "Keep going out with friends," everyone says - but it doesn't help.  You just carry the sadness and heaviness of your heart with you, like a piece of luggage.

I'm not really sure how to escape it anymore.  I just keep writing, journaling, praying, and crying.  Eventually, it has to stop, right?

I think that maybe if I knew this hurt wasn't one-sided or if an olive branch was extended, I might be able to heal differently, better, or quicker.  I have asked for forgiveness multiple times (each time, it has been denied), and I have extended multiple olive branches (none taken).  My heart hurts from a type of love I have not experienced before - and from a walking away I don't understand.

I know the love still exists between us both, but I'm not sure why the desire to work through the hurts is absent.  So, to open up today's reading and read Ephesians 4:2 was a little surprising, "And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you."

One thing I am 100% sure of is this - my prayers for my partner have not ceased, and I have seen at least one of them answered.

I will always be kind, tender-hearted, and forgiving.  Because that is what we are called to do - endlessly.

I can't imagine doing anything else.

Forgiveness is hard.  (Which is probably why my ex will not grant it.) In the book of Phillipians, we are told that we can do all things through Christ.  This includes forgiving those that have hurt us.  Forgiving not only releases those that are asking for our forgiveness, but it releases us as well.

I have forgiven my ex for leaving us (four times to be exact) because I know the underlying root cause, and it releases me from harboring anger and resentment towards him and within my soul.

I have asked for forgiveness from my ex multiple times for hurting him, for being selfish, and for also being self-centered - even though I know the root cause (which I wrote about yesterday).  Asking for forgiveness releases me from carrying the guilt and shame of hurting someone I deeply love.  If that forgiveness is ever finally accepted and granted, my ex will be able to release the deep hurts he is still carrying toward me and our relationship.

The act of granting forgiveness is an act of kindness (our fifth Fruit of the Spirit).  Granting forgiveness often becomes a war between the Spirit and our flesh.  If the hurt happened multiple times or if the relationship was deep, the war raging within us may take a little while to sort itself out.  (I think that's what my ex and I are dealing with at the moment.)

One Bible verse I have been praying for (over myself) these past few weeks is one I learned to memorize early on as a new Christian - 2 Cor. 5:17, "Behold, old things are passed away; all things become like new."

In order to walk in full kindness and forgiveness and to renew relationships and love, we must be able to let old things pass away and become like new.

Today, I read a few things forgiveness is NOT.  I think these are good reminders to all of us that when you forgive someone, you are not losing these things:

1. Forgiveness is NOT claiming our pain isn’t genuine. We can forgive and still acknowledge our broken hearts.

2. Forgiveness is NOT condoning or saying someone's behavior was appropriate.

3. Forgiveness is NOT forgetting. We aren’t wired this way.

4. Forgiveness is NOT a feeling. The Bible teaches us the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked (Jeremiah 17:9). If we’re waiting to feel forgiving towards someone, it may never happen.

5. Forgiveness is NOT an invitation to be a doormat. Expressing clear boundaries of what’s ok and what’s not is very important.

6. Forgiveness is NOT trust. Trust is earned. It requires the offender to repent and show consistency in healthy behaviors for trust to return.

7. Holding on to unforgiveness is NOT powerful. It doesn’t give us control, it deceives and enslaves us.

Those are amazing points, and things I know my ex is struggling with.  It is OKAY to forgive your partner, rebuild relationships, and still love them.  Forgiveness does not mean everything is fine.  It is just a first step to release both parties to move ahead freely and begin the healing process.

In fact, here are some more points of what forgiveness is:

1. Forgiveness IS a decision. Sometimes our feelings and intentions to forgive aren’t always in sync, but the Lord will help us align our heads and hearts in obedience to His will.

2. Forgiveness IS strength and courage. Courage is the ability to be strong amidst pain and grief.

3. Forgiveness IS freedom from the weight and heaviness of the offense we’ve been carrying.

4. Forgiveness IS freedom from bitterness.

5. Forgiveness IS costly. It cost Jesus His very life to provide us forgiveness we don’t deserve.

6. Forgiveness IS a command (Colossians 3:13; Matthew 18:21–22; Luke 17:3–4). 

I'll wrap it up with this.  If Jesus can grant forgiveness, after being flogged, spit upon, and beat beyond recognition, I can forgive a person leaving me multiple times.  I can see past the sin and root causes of those leavings, and I can love through them to forgive a person I love deeply.

People are worth saving.  Jesus showed us that.

I can forgive people I love (and, honestly, those I don't) because Jesus did it first, and more importantly, because He told me to.

I don't know when Jesus will heal my heart completely.  I am still in love with a man I had planned to marry and grow old with.  In time, Jesus will reveal the path and plan for my life.  The road is pretty painful right now, but when I sit down to read Scripture or pray, my heart and mind are filled with so much HOPE.

And I love that.

Dear Lord, You have given me so much love and forgiveness. I don’t deserve it. I want to be obedient to Your command to forgive. You ask, “Why do you call Me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do the things which I say” (Luke 6:46 NKJV)? I need help, Lord. Allow my head and heart to align. My head knows I’m called to forgive, but my heart still hurts. Please reveal any root of bitterness and heal my hurting heart. Please help me to be kind and tenderhearted, just like You. Amen.

JOY: The Second Fruit of the Spirit

 

Each day, I start off with, "Lord, please let me embrace positivity, joy, & happiness today.  And please manifest in me the Fruits of the Spirit."

I have never been too good at memorizing the list of the Fruits of the Spirit, but at 57 years old, I am still learning new things.  And in this time of "growth opportunity," as Lysa Terkeurst likes to say, I am working through the list of fruits and trying to apply them to my life.

This morning, I woke up from a "nightmare," so to speak.  I could see me sitting at a dinner table across from a woman that is not fond of me.  She was saying some things that were not complimentary or nice.  It was so vivid and real.  Her image; her voice.

I laid in bed and prayed, "Oh Lord, please remove this dream and thought from my head.  Why did you allow that dream to come through?"

As I prayed that prayer, God gave me a simple message.  "Write her.  Wish her JOY and happiness."

Um, what?  I don't think so Lord.  Not a chance.

Again, "Write everyone in that circle and wish them JOY."

So, I did.

At 57 years old, I have learned not to argue with the Lord and His Spirit when they talk.

I quickly deleted the text thread after the message was sent, so it would not be a distraction or temptation to look for replies.  That was not my mission.  My mission was to simply, "...wish JOY."

This morning, my heart is tender.  There are four women in my life who are struggling with life right now.  Hurts so much bigger than my own.  There are also some issues within my family circle that are bigger than my hurt.  My heart is tender.

As I clicked to read today's devotion on JOY, I said to myself, "I'm just not getting anything out of this study like I did from the study on LOVE. Sigh..."

And then.

I read today's devotion; I just broke down into tears.  I'm not even going to try and summarize it here today.  I'm just going to copy and paste.

FOR ME, this lesson on JOY was so powerful.  It doesn't matter if one family out of the entire world doesn't like me.  Jesus does.  It doesn't matter if I spend Christmas day alone. Jesus will always be here beside me - holding me up, loving me unconditionally.

As Paul writes in Philippians 3, "But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith.”

Having true JOY comes from Jesus and possessing the Fruits of the Spirit.  It doesn't come from who likes you or who doesn't.  It doesn't come from days filled with people or days spent alone.  It doesn't come from all the things you surround yourself with.  True JOY comes from knowing Jesus personally, accepting His gift of salvation, and manifesting the Holy Spirit.

Here is what I read today.  I pray it has the same impact on you as it did for me.  I am so thankful for all the GIFTS God gives us as fruit of His Holy Spirit.  I choose JOY, positivity, and happiness daily - minute by minute; hour by hour.  All the rest, as Paul said, is garbage.

Happy Saturday my friends.  May your season be filled with Jesus, all the magic of the holidays, and above all else - JOY.

"Everything in this life and world is meaningless and worthless apart from a relationship with Jesus. I cannot stress these words enough. Let me show you . . .

In the above passage, Paul explains when he came to Christ, the things he saw as valuable were worthless. Everything he once put his security in, everything he believed would bring him fulfillment, everything he found himself striving so hard to achieve and have and be, all the accolades, accomplishments, possessions, morality, and religion, were empty and meaningless.

Even deeper, Paul says, “I consider them garbage.” The English translators were being a little soft when they translated this word. The word for garbage actually translated as refuse or dung. In the most basic of modern translations, Paul is saying, “I consider everything in this world as a poop emoji” in comparison to the surpassing, superior, excellent worth of knowing Jesus.

Consider the things we so highly value on a daily basis. For some, it’s our appearance: our physique, muscles, hair, clothes, or shoes. For some, it’s money. What’s my portfolio looking like? What’s my net worth? What does my reputation, job, grades, family, friends, possessions, and pleasures look like?

Now, are all these things bad? No, of course not! But consider the wisdom found in the Book of Ecclesiastes for a second: “Meaningless! Meaningless . . . Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless” (Ecclesiastes 1:2 NIV).

Wisdom? Pleasures? Work? Advancement? Riches? Meaningless. King Solomon comes to the conclusion that without God, there is no meaning to life.

Friends, I pray you walk away from today’s devotion knowing that Jesus is everything! There is no greater joy in this life and nothing more valuable than knowing and living in relationship with Jesus, and everything in life is greater and full of joy in light of a relationship with Jesus!

Wisdom finds true meaning in light of knowing Jesus. Pleasures such as food, nature, and art become more vibrant and beautiful in Jesus and cause us to give thanks to God for making beautiful things. Work, advancement, and riches find purpose and calling in Jesus. Our relationships, families, marriages, etc. are all made richer and more fulfilling in Jesus and draw us deeper into relationship with Him.

Everything we could ever hope to have, do, enjoy, or gain in this world falls short of and is made better by the eternal, priceless, immeasurable gain of knowing Jesus.

Look at what the psalmist declares in Psalm 16:11 (ESV): “In your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”

Friends, everything we’re looking for and longing for in this life can be found in Christ. If you seek to find joy in the things of this world, it will always be elusive, just out of reach, and unattainable. But when you press into the grace of God in Christ and put your hope, security, and purpose in Him, you’ll find true joy, you’ll see those things for what they truly are, and you’ll actually enjoy them in light of knowing Jesus!"