Seasons of WAITING

 

It's been a minute since the Lord has asked me to write anything.

I guess being in a season of waiting means...you WAIT.

I read a devotion this morning that just hit me.  When I woke up this morning, after an incredible night of sleep (finally) filled with God's presence and PEACE, I said, "Well, I am not writing this morning.  I can just read, shower, and be on time for church."

I guess you should never "assume" you know what the day is going to hold for you because God led me to read something that I felt was profound and wanted to share.

Being in a season of waiting - also means being in a season of TRUST.  I've never been good at waiting.  Everyone knows I am a "triple-A+" personality.  I am a fixer, a multi-tasker, and a leader (to a small extent).  I'm not good at waiting.  I'm more of the mindset, "What is taking so long?  Just make a decision and let's go!"

Well, you know how that usually works out.

If God wants you to WAIT, well then - you wait. This morning's reading was based on the story of Sarah and Abraham.  Yes.  We have all heard and read their story a million times, but when you put it in the context of a study on waiting, well then - it sort of tweaks the story and gives you new perspective.

Instead of me reinventing the wheel, let me share some of today's reading with you:

And I wondered if that’s how Abraham’s wife, Sarah felt when she heard she would have a baby at ninety years old. The three prophetic visitors in Genesis said Abraham’s wife would have a baby in a year. Sarah, listening from inside the tent, laughed to herself. “After I am worn out and my lord is old, will I now have this pleasure?” (Genesis 18:12)

I can relate to facing what seemed like an impossible situation. But I came to the end of all my efforts and natural solutions and striving, and it felt good to put it in God’s hands completely. Elisabeth Elliot writes, “God is God. If He is God, He is worthy of my worship and my service. I will find rest nowhere but in His will, and that will is infinitely, immeasurably, unspeakably beyond my largest notions of what He is up to.”

We often think of surrender like waving a white flag in battle. But my day of surrendering to God felt more like standing in the kitchen with a burnt cake in my hands, laughing because I messed the whole thing up. Then suddenly, I remember that God is an expert in turning messes into miracles, and I let out a little laugh.

Sarah laughed because she knew she couldn’t make it happen herself. The promise from God was too big, too far-fetched for a woman who was 90 years old.

And yet, despite the obstacles, God fulfilled His promise, and Sarah gave birth to Isaac.

It would be great if Sarah paved a road for us all to follow, a road of faith and optimism and kindness and trust. Wouldn’t it be great if she gave us the formula to follow for our waiting season? I can see it in the headlines: “Faith-Filled Woman Gives Birth in Her Nineties.” We’d all lean in for that kind of faith. Give us the formula—only there isn’t one.

The truth is, Sarah wasn’t all that full of faith. She didn’t play all her cards right. It seems to me, the action she took only made things messier than they needed to be (I’m guilty of the same thing). Yet, God still fulfilled what He promised.

If everyone got exactly what they wanted through trust and surrender, we’d rejoice because we finally nailed the formula. Surrender isn’t because God needs something from us but because He wants something for us—the peace that comes from trusting in Him alone. Surrender and trust enable us to accept the outcome, even if it looks different than we thought it would. A posture of surrender—even laughable surrender—recognizes that we’ve come to the end of our striving and natural solutions and we put our trust in Him no matter what. We don’t need to know what God is up to or how He’s going to work it out, we only need to know that He is a good God with our best interest in mind. And, as it turns out, impossible situations are His specialty.

I love that.  Obviously Sarah didn't have the formula for waiting and trust nailed down either.  She didn't play all her cards right - she took action on her own (outside of what God said) and made things messier - and yes, like our writer above, we have all done the same thing.

Waiting = SURRENDER.  I like the word SURRENDER so much better!  I can definitely SURRENDER to God.  Waiting is HARD.  Too hard for this triple-A+ girl.

SURRENDER means God has something for me, and when I SURRENDER to Him, I can find the PEACE I experienced last night while sleeping (yes, it's a physical feeling you feel that surpasses anything you have ever encountered - and that's why they call it "the peace of God that surpasses all understanding"). 

We put our trust in God no matter what.  No matter what untruths are being told about us.  No matter what fight or (as in my situation) flights are taking place within our situation.  No matter what.  "We don't need to know what God is up to or how He is going to work it out."

We only have to know that He is GOD, and He always has our best interests in mind.  God is in the business of CHANGE - changing people, changing situations, and changing hearts.

I love this quote above from Elisabeth Elliot, "God is God. If He is God, He is worthy of my worship and my service. I will find rest nowhere but in His will, and that will is infinitely, immeasurably, unspeakably beyond my largest notions of what He is up to."

Wow.  Succinct and to the point.  God is God.  Rest nowhere but in His will.

If you are in a period of waiting today, like me - there are several things you can do to help yourself make it through this time of SURRENDER:

• Pray - Talk openly and honestly to God every time you have a chance.  Cry if you need to; yell if you need to; sleep if you need to - but keep talking it through with God.  It may feel as if your prayers are only hitting the ceiling, but you can REST in the FACT that they are being presented at the throne of God in Heaven.  It is Biblical!

• Journal - Keep a small notebook and pen by your bedside.  God will speak.  Let the words pour out of you.  Put all your deepest thoughts in there that may come when you wake up in the morning or when you are about to lie down to sleep at night.  Get the gunk OUT.

• Talk - Surround yourself with GODLY people.  Your friends, family, or even your Parents might all love and support you - but if they are not strong Christians daily walking with the Lord, you may get ONLY support - not God's wisdom pouring out from them to you.  It is easy to nest and snuggle up to the people we are closest to in times of waiting, but if you are receiving opinions and support from those within your circle who are either not Christians at all or are Christians "in name only," you are not getting God's wisdom.  This is a hard one I know, but look closely at your inner circle.  Who is opening their Bible and reading daily?  Who are the ones on their knees praying daily?  Who is listening to Christian music?  These are all outward "helps" to see who is really walking closely with the Lord.  (Disclaimer:  Not all strong Christians have labels on them saying, "I walk close to the Lord," so be wise in making decisions.  But you should be able to easily discern who will give you good, Godly advice rather than just advice based on their love for you.)

• Seek Godly Counsel - Goes a little bit hand-in-hand with Talk above, but you may need to seek Christian counseling or find an older (and wiser) Christian mentor.  Someone who is not a family member, friend, or Parent that can give objective viewpoints and Scripture to help you through your time of waiting.

Let's wrap up this morning's post with this lovely prayer I read.  It just hits home for me, and it is my prayer daily.  I hope it will be comforting to you as well.

I pray all of you have a wonderful Sunday in your house of worship and continue to grow closer to Jesus each day:

"Father, forgive me for lacking trust in you. Forgive me for trusting too much in myself, my capabilities, my circumstances, or others. Help my full trust to reside in you. I surrender my doubt, my fear, and my confusion. I don’t know where this path leads, but I want to trust you every step of the way. Thank you for a new level of trust in you. Amen."

Release

 

Today's word.  RELEASE.

Man, I must be tired.  I slept about ten hours last night.  My mind, my heart, and my emotions are worn out from the last five weeks and more specifically - from the last ten days.

I have wrestled with God.  And this morning I laid in bed and prayed, "God, I'm done.  I give up.  He's yours.  Take him."

At some point, you have to realize that some people cannot be saved, no matter how much you fight for them.  No matter how much you love them.  No matter how many times you have said the same words over and over to them.  No matter how many times your family members have pleaded the same words over and over to them.

Sometimes, you have to take the hurt and release it and the person you have been trying to save.

It's up to God now.  As a people and a tribe, we have tried.  We have all failed.  There seems to be no amount of words or Scripture that can help.

So today's word is release.  I release my partner.  I refuse to be treated in a manner that is so undeserved.  No communication or working through feelings or thoughts.  Silent treatments.  Ignoring when in the same room.  I am worthy.  I am a child of God, and after five years of sharing life, being in love, creating a partnership, promises of a future together, and a commitment to an us, I refuse to continue to be treated in a manner worthy of someone in a position so much less. The disrespect given to me and this relationship over the past ten days has been unexpected and should not be permitted in a Christian relationship that was once blooming, fruitful, and Christ-centered.

I have placed too much focus on him, the silence, and my heartache.  I can't do it anymore.  It's ruining me, and I'm not living life.  I want to be alive again.  I want to heal and be filled again.  

So take him God.  He is yours.  Carve out the path you desire for him.  Use him for the purposes you have for him.

I will always pray that you allow our paths to cross again or our relationship to reunite and heal, but despite all my prayers, you have not allowed that to happen thus far.  I will continue to pray that you grant him courage and bravery.  That you grant him the ability to step out of a lifestyle that has become comfortable and to face the evil of fear and overcome it.  I will continue to pray that you instill in him a desire to fight for the things that are true and real and matter most.

I am so thankful you gave him to me for five years.  My life is forever changed.  I will always love him and the life we carved out together. My heart will always hold hope of a future together.  But this morning, I can't shoulder the heaviness of the hurt any longer and I can't take the level of disrespect a day more.  So today's word is release.

As God always does, He shows up right on time.  Thank you Proverbs 31 for being the first thing I read this morning:

One definition of “belonging” is “the feeling of security and support when there is a sense of acceptance, inclusion, and identity for a member of a certain group.” When we belong, we’re right where we’re supposed to be.

Today’s key verse shows us the ultimate source of belonging in the midst of our brokenness: “The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18).

In our pain, our loving heavenly Father runs to us, is near to us, and comforts us with His presence and the peace only He can provide. In our pain, we belong close to our Savior. It’s the best place for us to be.

My daughter’s response to her father’s care didn't surprise me and probably doesn’t surprise you either: We recognize the blessing of a loving father who ran to his child and comforted her. We would expect her to receive that gift gladly and rest in it.

But when circumstances shatter our lives, instead of allowing God to come close and put our broken pieces back together, I think we sometimes pull away. Instead of allowing God to care for our wounds, we cover them and recoil. After all, wounds hurt, and we fear that exposing them will only hurt more.

But as with an untreated physical wound, untreated heart wounds grow more and more tender. Though covered up, the wounds get worse, and if they’re not treated, infection will spread and create even more hurt.

The first step to belonging is to bring our brokenness to Jesus. Instead of tirelessly trying to fix things ourselves, we can let Jesus put the broken pieces of our hearts back together.

God doesn’t want us to spend our lives endlessly trying to keep it together. He wants to heal us, fill us, and lead us to the rest found in His arms when we belong to Him.

Dear God, I know You see the wounds in my heart. Today, I bring You my broken pieces. I desire Your healing and the rest found in Your arms. Give me the courage to trust You. Lead me to the belonging You created for me. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Friends & Mentors

 

"Heavenly Father, “as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17), please send godly mentors and friends to my husband. You have placed us on earth in the context of community because it is our interaction with each other that promotes our growth and helps to develop our character. As Your Word says in 1 Thessalonians 5:11, “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” I praise You for the wisdom of relationships and thank You for the godly men You have put in my husband’s relational circle throughout his life. Please deepen these relationships and bring more spiritual men to him in order to mentor him into a person who exhibits Christ’s character in all he does."

Use that prayer from a devotional this morning to apply to your Partner...or to anyone in your life really.

I love the line that says, "You have placed us on earth in the context of community because it is our interaction with each other that promotes our growth and helps to develop our character.  I praise You for the wisdom of relationships and thank You for the godly men You have put in my husband’s relational circle throughout his life."

I have to take the time out to say this morning that without my best friends (you know who you are) I could not have grown and developed character over the last month.  I was granted their wisdom and, just basically, their love and support.  I was very thankful for the godly women God put in my "relational circle" as this prayer calls it.

"Gracious Lord, please surround my husband with men and mentors who guide him in the ways of wisdom, right living, kindness, commitment, and a deep love for You and for his family. I pray that You bless him with like interests with these men and provide them with learning experiences that they can share together, as well as occasions of fun and fellowship. Help me to be willing to share my husband’s emotions and time so that he can develop and sustain relationships with these men, and I pray that the richness of their relationships will overflow into our marriage and into our home."

I know not everyone reading this post has a husband.  I don't.  But I can use this prayer to pray for my Partner and even for my close inner circle of girlfriends.

Throughout the past month, the Lord granted me time alone to find myself.  Time to grow in closeness to the Cross.  Time to develop deeper friendships with other women in my life I had not known on other levels (other than where our paths crossed each day).  My time of great sorrow miraculously bloomed into a time of independence, growth, maturity, strength, and new friendships.

I am thankful for women and mentors that guided me, granted wisdom, performed acts of service, and showed kindness and a deep love of the Cross as well.  I am thankful for reconnections with old friends.  Travels to cities I would not have ventured off to before.  And spend the night parties I should have had a long time ago.  What an amazing time of growth and learning.

My pathway is not over.  I am still traveling.  I do not intend to abandon the doors God has opened.  I will be traveling back to the cities I live far from.  I will be keeping my friendships close.  I will be having more spend-the-night parties.  I love the love of other women and close friends.  We need and should be mindful of these people and relationships in our lives.

Here is something that Lysa TerKeurst said that struck with me, "Our hope can’t be tied to whether or not a circumstance or another person changes. Our hope must be tied to the unchanging promise of God. We hope for the good we know God will ultimately bring from our situation, whether the good turns out to match our desires or not. And sometimes that takes a while. The process will most likely require us to be persevering. Patient. Maybe even longsuffering."

How true is this!

Your HOPE cannot be tied to a PERSON and their personality, true self, or actions.  It must be tied to GOD.  You can have pain and anguish and hurt and disappointment in people, and in the very same breath, have HOPE for the GOOD we know God is bringing our way and our situation at some point in time.  That GOOD may not match what you have in your head, and that is KEY to remember through your valley.  God ALWAYS brings the GOOD.  Just keep in mind that what He brings may not match what you were thinking.  Keep clinging to the Cross and keep praying!  The GOOD always comes. Be cognizant enough to recognize it when the valley starts to level out and you suddenly realize you are no longer in it; you are now on level ground again.  THIS is your good my sister.

Take the time today to read Psalm 40.  Whether you are in the valley today or level ground.  It is proof that people have already traveled your road and are still traveling it today, 1000s of years later.

"...waited patiently for the Lord...He heard my cry.  He lifted me out of the pit...and set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.  He put a new song in my mouth."

Proof that those valleys eventually become level ground again.

Here is one of my favorite Gospel singers, Charlotte Ritchie, singing one of my favorite hymns, "We are standing on holy ground..."

Happy Friday my friends.  The weekend is here.  Pull out the holiday decorations and celebrate where you feet rest today.  Valley or level ground, God is standing beside you.

I love you.